This is from Keala Settle from "The Greatest Show on Earth". What a vocalist! This is a song from her new album. I think this will be a "go-to" song for me in the coming months to remind me to keep fighting. I think it's appropriate for this blog.
Cycle 2 of Gemzar is in the bag. Once again, my white blood cell and ANC counts are in the toilet. Once again I am prescribed the scary antibiotic as a precaution. I am basically on house arrest at the end of a cycle while I give my body a chance to recoup. I have noticed that it takes about 5 days from my last chemo session of the cycle to feel somewhat normal and have some energy and stamina. It's odd. I don't feel bad .... I just don't feel good. I want to curl up in a ball under a blanket and stay there for a few days.
My tumor markers continue to climb: CA15 to 33 is now at 38.6; CA27-29 is now at 97. Sigh. The good news, if there is a silver lining, is that the rate of climb has slowed. At my last test, my CA27-29 climbed by over 30 points; this time just over 9. Remember these were taken before my last session of the cycle. I hope they are on the way down.
I have my PET on Wednesday first thing in the morning (so I can get coffee before 10!!). I am guessing, but based on how my body has responded to other chemos and tumor marker climbs, I expect the PET to show some progression but lower metabolic rate. The lower metabolic rate means the tumors are dying. Yeah! Again, just a guess.
I meet with Dr. Koc Friday afternoon to review the PET and determine next steps. Guessing again, I think we will stay on Gemzar one more cycle to see if those tumor markers are headed down (unless PET results are worse than I think). If tumor markers continue to climb, then we move on to treatment #5. Sigh ....
I've discussed with hubby and with the PA that, if we change again, I want it to be something that has a good shot of killing the cancer. I am not satisfied with stable. Let's kill this crap!! I know that the chemo will most likely be harsher than what I've had to date. But that's okay. I am home bound anyway for at least another year, as is hubby. If we are gonna go bad, now is the time while I am working remote and I have someone at home 24/7 who can watch out for me. Another year and I may not have that luxury. I just don't want the chemo to kill me in the process.
Anyway, I am doing my best to stay upbeat. But I am frustrated and sometimes I let it get the best of me.
No time for pity, I have blankets to make. Later!!
