Plan? Who Needs a Plan?

One of the hardest things for me right now is the inability to plan anything in my life except in four week increments. Can you come for Christmas? I don't know. Can you come to my party mid-December? Who knows? I don't know if I'll be in chemo, I don't know how my body will react to the next three rounds of chemo. I don't know if more chemo is in my future. I DON'T KNOW!! All I know is I finish chemo on 11/27, have scans on 12/2, and meet with the doctor on 12/6. My current four week plan. As a project manager professional, I live and die by the "plan" every day. So you can imagine what it's like not having a long term plan. I am lucky to have a month to month plan.

Now a good project manager has to be flexible and change direction on a dime to avoid disaster (and I AM a good PM, if I must say so myself). Much of that ability is honed over time, sometimes relying on similar circumstances in past projects. But I find myself in unfamiliar territory. My only "cancer-fighting" experience includes two surgeries and a pill every day for six years. It doesn't exactly prepare for me for what we are facing now. So I need to rely on my gut instincts and trust that my "subject matter experts", aka the doctors, are being straight shooters when discussing options.

Another skill of a good project manager is the ability to detect when someone is "blowing smoke up my dress". Fortunately, my Bullshit Meter is one of my greater assets. I can typically smell it a mile away. And I won't hesitate to call it out. I typically have little tolerance for BS, but I assure you I have NO tolerance for BS when fighting cancer. BSers - You've been warned.

I am looking forward to the next few weeks, the scans and the results. Maybe we can plan a little longer than four weeks this time. That would make my PM self very happy.