Stormy

Stormy by Classics IV  I do not own the rights to this music or the picture below.

Wow! The past few weeks can only be described as stormy, hence the title of this post and the picture. I'm not even sure where to start! 

Let's start with tumor markers. These suckers are out of control, so much so that we stopped Doxil earlier than we wanted to and moved to Xeloda. For reference, my tumor markers on 8/6 and 8/20 are as follows: CA 27 - 29 692.5 and 834.1 (normal high is 38.6); CA 15-3 322.1 and 410.8 (normal high is 32.4); and CEA 4.7 and 4.5 (normal high is 2.4).Crazy!! I asked Dr. Kocs after the 8/6 results "so what do we do now? Change? Wait?". We changed. Four pills in the morning, and then again 12 hours later. I must take them no later than 30 minutes after eating something. 

For the first time in two years, the chemo queen may have met her match! I've lost my lunch 4 times in 14 days (still not bad compared to most, but new for me). The worst thing that has me on the floor is dizziness.

I started the chemo on 8/20; the following Monday I had to beg off on our morning walk with Sam about 1/2 way in. It took everything I had to put one foot in front of the other to get home. I had to sit down 3 -times before I got home, I was so dizzy. I was dizzy on and off all day Monday. I felt better Tuesday AM so off I go with hubby and Sam. Big mistake! I got around our loop and had to beg off again and head home. I had to sit down again about four houses down from mine, I was so dizzy. I haven't walked with hubby and Sam since. I've been dizzy every since, sometimes more so than others, but it is constant. I am now officially a fall risk (don't freak out, Cathy! I am being super careful!).

I moved my doctor appointment up, thinking my electrolytes were being impacted by the new chemo. Blood work was stellar. That's not it. The PA I saw on Thursday told me to lower my dose to 4 and 3. If that didn't help, I could lower it again to 3 and 3. By Saturday, I had lowered it to 3 and 3. 

I was silly enough to drive to my doctor's appointment on Thursday afternoon and then again to follow-up MRI appointment. Luckily those were both late in the afternoon where I wasn't AS dizzy and I thought I was invincible. I learned on Friday that my reflexes were a step off. That was the end of my driving for awhile. I only got behind the wheel long enough to move my car from one side of the driveway to the other to make it easier ... and closer ... for me to get in hubby's car. He is now my chauffer.

Last week was a huge challenge trying to work with the dizzy. Focusing can be difficult; writing emails takes longer than it should because I'm having to review and edit more than usual. It has taken me 90 minutes and counting to write this post. Sometimes my speech is impacted, struggling to focus enough to get the words together. It was evident to others that something was amiss. Other times you couldn't tell I am operating in a fog. It's been frustrating.

I met with Rachel on Friday. Blood work is still holding strong. Rachel isn't convinced the new chemo is causing the dizziness, as only 6% of patients experience dizziness on this medicine. She had the nurse do an EKG. She also ordered a CT on my neck and chest ... remember some of my lymph nodes are near other structures and could be causing issues. She also ordered an Echo Cardiogram. Waiting on the insurance to approve the tests so they can schedule. I suspect a visit to a cardiologist may be in my future. Doxil can impact the heart long after you quit taking it. There may even be a visit to an ENT. 

The name of the game is to stabilize my weight and I've managed to do that. I try to eat every two hours, even when I am not hungry. Vegetarian is off the table for now as I need to maintain and not lose weight. It's a strange existence. I HATE being dependent on others, but I thank God that Mike is always here for me, sometimes scolding me for trying to do too much. It took me 3 days to fold laundry. Mike would do it for me but I insisted I could do it myself. Silly, right?

Anyway, my focus these days is to how to work through the dizziness, see what works and what doesn't. Rachel prescribed me Vertigo meds, although I don't have vertigo. I haven't tried it yet. One of the side effects is ... wait for it ... dizziness. How stupid is that!! 

I am not giving up! I don't want to give up on this treatment because I think it's working. My PET on the 14th should let me know if I'm right or not. Meanwhile, Onward through the Fog!  Isn't that from a sign from an old head shop somewhere? Anyway, it fits!!

MRI results are great! Right lobe lesion down 40%. Lower left lobe is barely 1 millimeter. I mention it because we were concerned that they were causing the dizziness. Yay that its not!!

I don not own the rights to this picture.