Best Day of My Life

Best Day of My Life - American Authors I do not own the rights to this music or this picture

If you read my last couple of blogs, you know last Monday was a stellar day and one of the best days of my life .... until today.

The doctor posted my PET results this afternoon. This is a BIG DEAL! I am usually sending him messages by Wednesday, begging that he load the PET results, promising him I won't fall apart or repeat call his office for an explanation. Basically, I wanted them so that Mike and I have a chance to digest the results, fall apart for a few minutes, then pick ourselves back up and start making a list of questions for a Friday appointment. So to have the results loaded within 24-hours of the scan is not something we've experienced ... because the results have not been good. To top it off, tumor marker results were loaded, too. Shut the front door! My doc is on a roll!!

Two tumor markers went down, one went up a little. Still not bad for an "off week". We will check tumor markers again in two weeks.  Here is were we are now:

CEA    3.2    Down 61%   

CA-15-3    183.8    Down 64%    

CA-27-29  Down 50%

The CA15-3 is up slightly and the CA27-29 is down slightly. They cancel each other out.

Now for the PET. We have decrease across the board, no new lesions, nothing ... I repeat, nothing ... showed any progression.  Here are the details:

FINDINGS:

CHEST:

Lungs: Stable biapical pleural parenchymal scarring.

Pleura: No pleural effusion, pleural mass, or pneumothorax is noted. No abnormal FDG activity is seen in the pleura.

ABDOMEN AND PELVIS:

Liver: Positive treatment response of hepatic metastases. Index lesions are detailed below:

* Segment 2 mass; SUV max 8.6; previously 21.2.

* Segment 4/5 lesion; SUV max 7.4; previously 14.8.

Kidneys: Chronic atrophy of the left kidney.

Lymph Nodes: Positive treatment response of lymph node metastases above and below the diaphragm. Index

lesions are detailed below:

* Left supraclavicular lymph node; 20 x 15 mm, previously 23 x 23 mm; SUV max 8.4, previously 13.4. - This is the one I can feel; we named him Voldemort.

* Subcarinal; 11 x 6 mm, previously 12 x 8 mm; SUV max 5.6, previously 7.5.

* Portacaval lymph node; 19 x 15 mm, previously 27 x 15 mm; SUV max 7.4, previously 22.9.

Bones and Soft Tissues: Positive treatment response of osseous metastases. Index lesions are detailed below:

* Right lateral fourth rib; SUV max 8.0; previously 9.6.

* Left posterior acetabular lesion; SUV max 5.9; previously 16.3.

* Left mid iliac bone lesion; SUV max 3.3; previously SUV max 6.2.

*Multilevel degenerative changes of the spine.

PET/CT

IMPRESSION:

1. Positive treatment response of lymph node metastases above and below the diaphragm.

2. Positive treatment response of hepatic metastases.

3. Positive treatment response of osseous metastases.

4. Brain metastases noted on prior MRI not well depicted with PET/CT.  They can't see the brain mets!!

Bottom line, MY CHEMO IS WORKING!!! Whoop!

Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes. They are paying off.  Keep it up!

Pink - The Interview for Breast Cancer Awareness

Pink Song by Dolly Parton    I do not own the rights to this music or this picture.

As we wrap up Breast Cancer Awareness month, I had to choose this song and picture. Please listen to this song; it really depicts what all breast cancer patients go through. Definitely one of my inspiration songs going forward. Thanks to Courtney Murphy for finding this song and sharing with me. Love, love, love!

I had the honor of speaking about my journey with MBC to Convergint, an international security integration company that celebrates and raises money for Breast Cancer Awareness every October. Convergint Colleagues Honor Breast Cancer Awareness Month

To be honest, I was invited to speak because my sister works for Convergint; she is  on a committee to plan and coordinate breast cancer events. It isn't as if I was sought out. I met with members of the team and then we did a trial run before the actual interview.  

Convergint has a professional team that produces many videos for the company. They kept me on track and made me look good! I am so blessed to have the opportunity to work with these talented people!

Convergint was kind enough to allow me to share the interview on my blog. The actual interview is too big to load here, so I created a YouTube channel to house this video in a secure environment. Viewers can only watch the video through the link to my channel. My MBC Journey

The video is just under an hour. My goal was to educate and inspire. I hope I reached that goal.  Please take time to watch.

Thanks in advance for your support! 

Joyful Joyful

 Joyful Joyful from Sister Act 2 I do not own the rights to this music nor do I own the rights to the picture below

I picked this song because I experienced sheer unbridle joy this week. The song is catchy, upbeat, and a joy to listen to! Check it out!

The picture on the left depicts my general overall demeanor. Lord knows I've had some struggles with this cancer but I am not done yet, not even close, peeling feet and all.

What brought on this "sheer unbridled joy"? Well, there are two things:

Tumor markers are down.

I "heard" from my friend, Mark Rubio, when I needed it most.

Details?

I will start with the tumor markers.

If you have been following my blog for any length of time, you know my tumor markers behave like a roller coaster, up one month then down the next. However, we have had far more ups than downs..... until now. My tumor markers have decreased by 50% or more in the last month! That's remarkable! Everyone is excited, my doctors especially. So much so that they called me Monday morning. They NEVER call me about tumor markers unless I've left them a message.

Here is how that went down. My brother, sister-in-law, and sister all came in from out of town to watch me give an interview for Breast Cancer Awareness month for my other sister's company, Convergint, scheduled for Monday AM. About 30 minutes before the live interview, I get a call from my doctor about my tumor markers. I lost it! I could barely speak without crying; we all cried. Then I tried to reach my sister at Convergint to tell her the news as well, as she also has a role in the interview. I didn't want her to hear it during the call, but before the call, so she could recover if her reaction mirrored ours. It did. This seems like a trivial thing, but let me put it into perspective. For months, my tumor markers have been on the rise at an alarming rate. Here is a table showing the all time high from 9/10 to present:

They are still high, especially the CA27-29. We have seen tumor markers decrease before, but never this much in such a short period of time. This tells us that my current treatment is working, and maybe, just maybe, I can look farther than 6 months ahead. Honestly, I felt this treatment HAD to work or I may not see Christmas. Now I know I will see Christmas and hopefully several more! I have a PET on Monday that will give us a better picture. I have high hopes for this PET, but I am prepared that it may still be less than stellar. Prayer warriors unite!!

My second joyful event in one week was "hearing" from my friend Mark. My computer keyboard had been acting up for a couple of weeks. Our technical guys decided it would be best to just replace it because it will only get worse over time. So I go in Friday morning to test and pick up the new laptop. While I was there, I decided to go ahead and clean out my desk and bring home all my personal stuff. I brought home a ton several months ago, so I was amazed at how much I still had. I filled up an entire box! Sorry for the detour. Anyway, while I was cleaning out my cube, I noticed a small gift bag next to my phone. I looked at it and it said "From: Rubio".  Inside was a pair of earrings in the shape of the breast cancer ribbon. This took me to the floor!

Some background. Mark and I worked together. He sat in the cube behind me. He was one of the kindest, most upbeat humans I know. We became fast friends. When I was diagnosed with MBC, Mark was my biggest work supporter. He was a ranked cornhole player and had cornhole bean bags made in pink with the breast cancer ribbon in my honor. He was working on something else breast cancer related until the unthinkable happened ... he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He texted me late at night the day he found out. We were all devastated. We already had a strong bond but cancer made it stronger. He told me "I knew God put you in my life for a reason". We could talk about things that we couldn't talk to anyone else about, including end of life strategies (when you are stage 4, you'd be stupid not to talk about this). I even experienced my first in-your-face miracle with Mark after our anointment of the sick ceremony. Mark told me then "I told you God is everywhere!".

The gift was put on my desk by his wife at his request just weeks before he passed away on October 29, 2020. I needed to "hear" from him and I did this week. You are correct, Mark. God is everywhere. 

This is why my heart is filled with Joy right now. I hope everyone has Joy in their heart!

Do It Again

Do It Again by Steely Dan

This is one of my all time favorite jazz/rock bands! This title is appropriate because I am recycling a post from August 2020.  Of all my posts, this is my favorite because it is so raw and so personal. It's worth another look. 

I do not own the rights to this music or the album cover.

Note: Tumor markers are heading down! Whoop!

Behind the Mask

I belong to Breastcancer.org  It is a great resource for all things breast cancer. It is also a great place to connect with other breast cancer patients. I follow a thread for woman with MBC and a topic peaked my interest. What do you wish your friends and family knew about MBC. Here are my thoughts on the subject:

 What I want people to know about me and MBC? It's all a façade!

I've been told that by the way I look and the way I sound, unless someone told you I had MBC, you would never know. I am told I am strong, I am brave, I have the best attitude and attitude is everything.

It's only been a year since diagnosis but it feels like forever.

If you peel away the layers you find a woman who has lived a good life and has a great family, one that has made her peace with death and is unafraid. Dig a little deeper, and you find a woman who is pretty matter of fact about the whole cancer thing. It is what it is. Accept and move on. Treatment quit working? Again? What's next? Dig deeper and you find a woman who is now keenly aware of her body; every ache, every pain, slightly swollen ankles, new bumps, old bumps, my liver, my back. Silently keeping track and determining what is worthy of a mention to the PA during weekly visits. Peel another layer and you find a woman who shows up for tests and scans with a bravado that dares the machines to find more growth, new tumors, while silently praying for NED (no evidence of disease), if only for a little while.

Keep peeling, layer after layer, until there are no layers left. And there I will be, still unafraid but somewhat sad:

• Acutely aware that I have MBC and it will one day kill me;
• Squelching the panic while I wait for scan results;
• Wondering if the next treatment will work for longer than three months;
• Wondering which treatment will finally "take down" the chemo queen;
• Wishing for NED but knowing that may be an elusive dream;
• Hoping to beat the odds and live longer than the average

I know that one day I will be tired of the fight. But that day isn't here yet.

The happy, stoic, warrior woman? It's all BS. Every now and then, when someone asks how I'm doing, I just want to say "Cancer sucks and it's a crappy thing to live with day in and day out". The reality is that most people can't handle when we are "real".

Rise Up

Cover of Rise Up by Andra Day Mother and son duo; Jordan Rabjohn and Katherine Hallam 

I do not own the rights to this inspirational saying

I do not own the rights to this music. If you haven't heard this version, my only question is "what rock have you been living under"?  I LOVE this version of this song! Such an inspirational song, one I listen to when I need a little push to keep going.

The title of this post is more a nod to the song and it is somewhat related to what I want to convey, but not as evident as in other titles I've selected to provide a hint of what's to come. Ready? 

Everything you wanted to know about breast cancer but are afraid to ask

1. There are many different types of breast cancer and they can present themselves in a variety of ways
• Lump
• A thickening of the breast
• A "sheet"
• Dimpling
• Discoloration
• Rule of thumb, if there is a difference, get it checked out, even if you just had a mammogram
2. Men can also get breast cancer, so check the pecs guys!
3. Be your own advocate or find someone who can be an advocate on your behalf
4. Find a support group
• Breastcancer.org is a great place for information and support from others going through the same thing
• The American cancer society is another great resource
• Many cities have local support groups that can help
5. Breast cancer contained in the breast typically doesn't hurt
• Once the cancer spreads to other organs it can be a different story
6. There is no cure
• This is a statement my oncologist told me from day one
• 5 years later, with no recurrence, I was deemed "cured"
• When I questioned that statement, my doctor modified that to remission
• Although there is technically no cure, many women enter remission and never experience a recurrence, hence "cured"
7. Not everyone loses their hair when they go through chemo
• I was told I would start losing my hair at about the 4 week mark, so I took matters into my own hands and shaved my head; I ruined a cuter than cute hair style to have some semblance of control over my cancer
• I had one chemo that caused my hair to thin (it looked like "snow failing" when I dried my hair); but I have yet to reach baldness because of chemo
• My advice? Wait until your hair really starts falling out, then head to the barber
• Bald can be beautiful, especially accented by a cute bow
8. Not everyone knows that metastatic breast cancer means this disease will eventually kill me
• Someone told me once "well, at least your cancer is not terminal" 
• Tell that my cancer
9. Maintaining weight is important
• Almost all chemo treatments have side effects which can cause weight loss (such as severe nausea, diarrhea)
• Weight loss will impact your strength, your stamina; both are needed to battle cancer
• Many advances have been made where these side effects can be controlled by medication
10. Keep moving
• It is important that you do some form of exercise everyday. This goes hand in hand with weight loss and maintaining strength and stamina
• Short walks are okay
• I've done chair exercises on days when I didn't have the strength or stamina to do more
• Any type of movement counts
• Consider dancing!
11. Chemo poop stinks
• Trust me on this one
12.  Chemo is not always an infusion
• Most chemos are given via an infusion
• Some chemo comes in pill form; in fact, some of the most powerful drugs are in pill form
• My current treatment is available in both; I am taking the pills
13. Metastatic treatment is not a sprint, it's a marathon
• I will be in treatment at some form for the rest of my life
14. Cancer is not an automatic death sentence
• Although my cancer may eventually kill me, I am doing everything I can to stick around as long as I can.
• Medical advances are happening all the time
15. Miracles DO happen
• I have experienced at least one "in your face" miracle and then another but more subtle
16. Hope is a must
• Once you lose hope, you've lost the war
17. Attitude matters

There are more, but I think these are the high points. 

Stay tuned. I am checking out recent medical breakthroughs that I hope pan out in clinical trials. 

Need someone to talk to? I'm here! Shoot me an email RavVicki@gmail.com.