Help Me Faith

Help Me Faith by the Hope County Choir - I do not own the rights to this music

Faith & Hope 

I find this title and artist to be quite appropriate for the message I want to portray ... Faith and Hope! I have been on this metastatic breast cancer journey for almost two years now. Sadly, we've had more downs than ups. Because of my faith and hope, I keep pushing through; we keep pushing through. I say "we" because this disease impacts my entire family: my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my siblings, my nieces and nephews. My "breast cancer" family - you know who you are. Everyone! 

For the first time in almost a year, we received decent PET results. In the last 5 scans, we knew instantly that a change in treatment was a must. It wasn't so clear with this one. Just the opposite. We still saw some slight progression and a new bone lesion. But we also saw decreased metabolic activity in lymph nodes, no or minimal change in other lesions, and resolution of an area that caused me pain two months ago (of course, I figured this one out on my own as a week after chemo, I had no more pain). I had Faith and Hope that the new chemo killed or at least injured the lymph nodes causing the pain; the new PET results confirmed my suspicions. 

We also got news that tumor markers are on their way down. The last time I mentioned tumor markers in my blog, the CA27-29 levels were over 200; high normal is 38. They doubled in size to over 450. I am happy to report that this number is now at 417. Doesn't seem like an impressive drop, but the levels are finally going down and not up. We will continue to check tumor markers every two weeks to help us gauge how we're doing.

As happy as we are with the results, I have to admit that I haven't been completely forthcoming with just how much my cancer has invaded my body. I have shielded the nitty gritty details from everyone except my immediate family. I guess mainly because I wasn't sure how y'all would handle the reality; it can be a bit overwhelming. The last thing I want or need is for you to pull away because you aren't sure what to do or say. And I certainly do not want pity or sympathy. Let me help you .... just send prayers of hope and keep the faith that I am doing everything possible to live my best life everyday. I plan on being around awhile 😄

Time to come clean. Here are the details in the PET that speak about the areas impacted by my cancer:

Lungs: There has been interval resolution of partial lung collapse seen in the left lung base on the prior exam. No opacities on the current exam. No abnormal radiotracer uptake.Pleura: Interval resolution of pleural effusion seen on the prior exam.

Note: this shows up in every other PET. The chemo kicks it back every time. Hopefully, it will stay gone for a while this time.

Liver: There are a few low-density masses with radiotracer uptake in the liver. Mixed interval change since the prior exam. One lesion is stable. Others show slight increase. Overall appearance suggests progression. Reference lesions: * Segment II mass [4, 82]: 1.9 x 2.3 cm, prior 2.0 x 2.3 cm; SUV max 21.2, prior 16.7. Increased. * Segment IV/V mass [4, 89]: 2.2 x 2.4 cm, prior 2.2 x 2.3 cm; SUV max 14.8, prior 14.0. No change.

Note: I actually have three lesions in my liver. So two show slight increase, while one shows no change; that's a win in my book!

Lymph Nodes: Multiple lymph nodes with radiotracer uptake are seen in the neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis. This includes jugular and superficial lymph nodes in the left neck. It includes left supraclavicular, bilateral axillary, bilateral subpectoral, pericarinal, bilateral lung hilar, and pericardial distributions in the chest. It includes celiac, portal, portacaval, aortocaval, and para-aortic distributions in the abdomen. It includes bilateral common iliac distributions in the pelvis.

Compared to the prior PET/CT scan, size and activity are either stable, or have decreased moderately. This suggests partial treatment response.

Note: The only one I can feel is the supraclavicular in my neck. The PA and I check this guy regularly to help gauge how the chemo is doing.

Bones and Soft Tissues: Multiple foci of increased uptake are seen in the skeleton. These are seen in cervical thoracic and lumbar spine, left scapula, multiple bilateral ribs, sacrum, left posterior acetabulum, left ischium, and bilateral femurs. The larger foci have associated lucency on CT. These are consistent with osseous metastases. There has been mixed interval change compared to the prior exam. A few lesions have improved. More have increased. There are a new lesion (left mid iliac bone). Overall appearance suggests progression. 

Note: I am getting an infusion of Zometa with my chemo to help the bones stay strong and avoid fracture. Hoping more will show decreased activity next PET.

Summary:

1. Partial treatment response in lymph node metastases.

2. Mixed interval change in hepatic metastases. Overall appearance suggests slight progression.

3. Mixed interval change in osseous metastases. Overall appearance indicates progression.

4. Improvement in left-sided hydronephrosis. My kidney pain from last PET

5. Resolution of left-sided pleural effusion and resolution of partial left lower lobe lung collapse.

Brain: I have two lesions in my brain; one right front lobe and one back left lobe. We radiated them a few months ago and my follow-up MRI showed a 20%  decrease. I should have another MRI in August to check on progress. 

A bit overwhelming when you see it altogether, right? Especially the lymph nodes ... they're everywhere!! Anyway, this is my life. And I'm okay.

Through it all, I continue to have faith and hope that things will get better. My message to all it to never give up, never quit fighting. Continue to have faith and hope; without faith and hope, you have nothing. Find the rainbows in the storm ... they are there if you look.

One final note. The chemo queen still reigns. No side effects on Doxil. I'm not sure if it is because of the advancements in the chemo or my body just handles toxins well. Regardless, I know many who suffer horribly from nausea, neuropathy, peeling hands and feet, mouth sores, etc. I've managed to dodge all those bullets so far. I count my blessings every day that I remain free of side effects.

Changes

Changes by David Bowie I do not own the rights to this music

Yep, changes are coming! First, a little background. The PET was horrible (previous post), add out of control tumor markers (CA 27-29 was 252, high normal is 38), constant pain in my left side (see PET and the piece where it talks about my kidney on the left side). Yeah, it's been fun. I started Doxil on 5/28. My husband insisted I be a couch potato through Memorial Day. I took him up on it. Between hubby and my son, they kept up with dishes and laundry, then fed me to boot. I binge watched the Great British Baking Competition. A good time was had by all. 

Mike and I met with Dr. Kocs on Friday. He confirmed the pain is cancer related, a first for me in this journey so far. I should count my blessings that I haven't experienced this sooner. The good news? What?! There's good news in here? Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus! The pain over the weekend was pretty bad; it hurt to walk (not cry hurt, but it caused me to wince .... a lot). Fast forward one week and the pain is much better. It still hurts, it's still constant, but getting less every day. As of this writing, it is more of an annoyance than anything else. Is the new chemo working already? I need hope, so I choose to believe it is!

What else did the good Dr. have to say? Well, hubby and I had an ongoing "discussion" about me taking it easy vs full steam ahead. Hubby wants me to slow down; I'm afraid if I stop moving, I won't be able to move at all. Turns out, we're both right. My stamina has taken a huge hit with all the rain and the pain in my side keeping me from walking the dog every day. I hate to admit that. I am slow and I struggle to keep up with hubby and Sam. It doesn't take long. Dr. Kocs agrees I need to work to keep my core strong, my stamina up; keep moving and do the things I enjoy .... in moderation. He also agreed that I need to take it easy. No more do dishes, start laundry, vacuum, cook, rinse and repeat, without frequent breaks in between activities. I need to learn my new normal. Do whatever for 20 minutes, rest for 30 or so before I am on to the next thing. If I don't I will pay the price. 

I played with my granddaughter this weekend, first time in over a year. Three hours later she was heading home and I was taking a nap .... for 3 hours. She wore my butt out. We had fun, though. She is too cute!

Dr. Kocs also told us I should be around in December (my retirement eligibility), but obviously, so much can go wrong so fast, there are no guarantees. We still have a lot of tools in the shed - conventional chemos, genetic therapy, immunotherapy ... and clinical trials. This is the first time he has mentioned clinical trials. I'm told there are several in the area, so I'm there when the time comes.

More good news! I was preparing to schedule my annual Reclast infusion for my osteoporosis. Instead, Dr. Kocs is adding Zometa to my treatment to strengthen my bones. This is because of the bone mets found on the last pet and the new ones on this one. We need to guard against fracture. So ... when I get my Doxil every month, I also get Zometa, so much more that my annual Reclast infusion. Three cheers for strong bones!!  My first infusion will be on 6/25. Can't wait!  This new protocol takes at least 3 hours:

• Steroids - 30 minutes 
• Doxil - 90 minutes
• Zometa - 15 minutes
• Labs and PA visit - 15 minutes
• Waiting on meds - 30 minutes

More good news? Yes! That's at least 2 hours of dance time!! Providing I have the stamina ... last time I danced, I needed to rest a bit. We'll see. I certainly have the play list to handle two hours!

Wish me luck on increased stamina!!

New tumor market test on 6/25. Next PET in July. Fingers crossed for good results. We need good news!!!  This is me!! Dance Monkey by Tones and I I do not own the rights to this music or this picture.

Don't You Worry Bout A Thing

Don't You Worry Bout A Thing by Stevie Wonder 

Wow!  Where do I start? So much has gone on over the past few weeks. Rising tumor markers one cycle, then one up, one down the next; iron pills that did a job on my body, so much so I was miserable, in pain, and completely out of whack for two weeks ... I'm still working on getting back to normal; I lost five pounds in the process, to the point the doctors are a bit concerned (don't worry, I still have five to ten to go before we need to break out the steroids that make me want to eat everything in site). 

What's causing all this drama in my body? My cancer. Aggressive little cuss, trying to have its way with me. I've hurt in one place or another for the past month. Nothing real bad, but bad enough that it impacts my stamina, my energy level, my mood. Once the pain goes away, I have instant energy and I'm ready to go. But I hate taking Advil or Tylenol every day. Hate it! My body is not a fan either. I will be testing out various CBD oil doses this weekend to see what works best as a better alternative.

So ... what's hurting? My constant companion these days is my lower back. I don't handle constant well. I've also had bouts of arthritis in my hands, my wrist, my feet. That typically lasts a day or so, but again its an annoyance when its happening. My left kidney is swollen due to progression in my lymph nodes and causing discomfort. This too will pass. I still consider myself very lucky. I have it so much easier than most cancer patients.

We moved the PET up from 6/5 to 5/21. That was a brutal day. To squeeze the PET in, I had to do chemo in the morning, then the PET in the afternoon. I left the house at 8 and didn't get home until 4. Long, long day. I was HANGRY by the time I got home, as I was not allowed anything but water after I got up. Luckily, I had a roasted chicken and veggies waiting for me when I got home. Yummy!!

So ... what did the PET have to say? Nothing good, I assure you. I was not expecting great news, but this was the worse result we've had to date. Almost everything has progressed, New lesions in my bones; the ball joint on my left hip and a spot on my lower back. My left kidney is swollen because the lymph nodes around it are getting larger, trapping fluid in that kidney. The writeup was two pages long .... TWO! Fun, right? Worrisome is a term the radiologist used. Ya think?! Sigh. Here is the summary:

PET/CT Impression:

1. Overall findings are worrisome for progression of disease, with increased FDG uptake noted of multiple nodal groups as described above
2. In addition, there are several new osseous lesions as well (bones)
3. New moderate hydronephrosis of the left kidney, likely due to the worsening retroperitoneal lymphadenopathy
4. New small tracer avid left pleural effusion (lung; this comes and goes)
5. Similar avidity is noted of the previously mentioned hepatic lesions (liver)

So now what? On to treatment protocol number 6 ... DOXIL! This is the mother of all chemos. Well maybe not, but it is one of the more toxic chemos out there, so much so that it's best if I stay away from people for the first 5 days post infusion. The good news? I only do the infusion once a month. The better news? They fully expect it to let the cancer know who's boss. I asked specifically about the left kidney and I was told "no worries, the chemo will take care of that".

I spoke to the nurses about it last week. They all feel I will handle Doxil like a champ, as I have all the other chemo. Regardless, I am happy I have a 3-day weekend to recoup just in case. I've put hubby on notice I plan on being a couch potato on Saturday as a precaution. That may only last a few hours once I realize that, once again, I am having no real side effects. One thing docs will watch is my heart. I have to get an Echo-cardiogram next week as a baseline. Apparently, we will be checking my heart on a regular basis. 

It sounds sick, but I'm looking forward to this treatment. I have high expectations that my cancer will meet its match. I want to stay on it as long as possible, providing the benefits outweigh the risks. Then I suspect we go on a strong maintenance drug to keep the cancer from returning to its former glory.

Here is a brief summary of common Doxil side effects:

• Hair loss
• Nausea and vomiting
• Sores in the mouth and on the lips
• diarrhea
• fast or irregular heartbeat
• shortness of breath
• swelling of the fee and lower legs
• joint pain
• lower back or side pain
• cough or hoarseness accompanied by fever or chills

There are more, but I don't want to freak you out. Look it up if you are interested and remember ... I AM the chemo queen and have managed to dodge side effects so far.

So, my advice for myself, my family, my friends, and those that read the blog: don't you worry about a thing. I'm going to get through this treatment and be better off when it's time to move on to protocol #7. We got this!  I got this! Time to get my chemo dance on!!

Spinning Wheel

Spinning Wheel by Blood, Sweat, and Tears I do not own the rights to this music

The first verse of this song says it all. "What goes up, must come down". Sadly, my tumor markers are ignoring this rule of gravity. They are going in the opposite direction:

To be fair, these bad boys HAVE been in normal range in the past, but as you can see, it's been a roller coaster for the past few months. What is really frustrating is that my liver enzymes and other blood work is fine. Can I just say that CANCER SUCKS!!

Okay, got that out of the way. So what now? Well, we test tumor markers again when I go in for chemo on 5/14. If they are still on the rise, we move up the PET, currently scheduled for 6/5, to the week of 5/17. Texas Oncology has proven they can move quickly on getting scans approved and scheduled when necessary. 

If the PET proves what I suspect, that Abraxane has quit working, then we go for treatment #6 in less than 20 months. We already know the next treatment in line is an infusion done once a month. This tells me this one is a bad mother and may be the one treatment that will test the self-proclaimed chemo queen.

BRING. IT. ON!! I know people who have had treatments that probably make this one look like a picnic, so who am I to complain. They've all come out the other side, thinner maybe but alive and kicking. This is why I always do chemo on Friday .... so I have the weekend to recoup if I succumb to any side effects. As most of you know, I've dodged that bullet for over 18 months. Maybe my grace has run out? Or not! We shall see.

Anyway, the next two weeks are going to be interesting and hopefully fast paced. I don't want any dilly dallying around. The cancer is not going to take a vacation why we decide next steps, so let's get a move on! 

Time to kick some cancer ass!

Watch this space ...

Happy

 Happy By Pharrell Williams I do not own the rights to this music.

I am so happy!  So, why am I happy? Is the cancer gone? Don't be silly. Yesterday was International Dance Day! Chemo was a dance party ... for me anyway! I danced while I waited for Rachel (almost an hour), I danced during steroids (another 15 minutes), then again during chemo (30+ minutes). I was having sooo much fun that I forgot to ice my feat and hands during chemo to help avoid neuropathy. I am not seeing any repercussions from my oversight ... yet. Fingers crossed that I don't. No matter; I'll deal.

I got all kinds of looks from patients and staff alike waiting for Rachel. Most smiled and gave me a thumbs up or did a dance step or two after they passed by. Others ignored me altogether. That's okay. I don't dance during chemo for everyone else. I do it for me. The mind, body, spirit thing. It makes me happy! I told Rachel to check and see if we can have a chemo time dedicated to those that want to dance during chemo ... once a week or even once a month. It puts everyone in a good mood, plus I get in some exercise. I told her it would too much fun if they put up a disco ball and played some great dance music where all in the room can hear and we are all dancing to the same thing. We can ROCK the place!! Doubt it will happen, but the answer will always be "No" if you don't ask, right?

Note: I know chemo dancing is not for everyone. There are some patients too sick to participant. But it does put a smile on their faces when I dance.

What do I dance to? I think the selections will surprise you (keep in mind, I am almost 65). Here are a few of my favorites:

• Say Something by Justine Timberlake and Chris Stapleton
• Love on Top by Beyonce
• Dance Monkey by Tones and I
• Cake by the Ocean by DNCE
• Heaven by Los Lonely Boys
• September by Earth, Wind, and Fire
• The Horse by Cliff Nobles and Co (we danced to this in the stands during football games)
• What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
• Grazing in the Grass by Hugh Masekela
• Soulful Strut by Young-Holt Unlimited
• Fearless by Jasmine Murray
• Just a Fool by Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton
• A Million Dreams by Pink and her daughter Willow
• Good as Hell by Lizzo
• Can't Stop the Feeling by Justine Timberlake
• The Fighter by Keith Urban
• How Great Thy Art by Stik Yard
• Best Day of My Life by American Authors
• Fell It Still by Portugal. The Man
• Walkin' on the Sun by Smash Mouth
• Smooth by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
• Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars
• Better When I'm Dancing by Meagan Trainor
• Sugar by Maroon 5

Now for some cancer news. I had my follow-up MRI recently. That caused some drama. Actually, I caused the drama. I read the results before meeting with Dr. Cohen about the brain mets. The little guy (3 mm) didn't change; the one in the front right lobe decreased by 20%, but it's still there. When I was told "one and done", my expectation is there would be no more brain lesions. I was wrong. The radiation continues to work. That little tidbit would have been good to know before I freaked out! 

Anyway, when meeting with Dr. Cohen, she told me the expectation is that the lesions continue to shrink or stabilize. The little guy may never go away or be any smaller than he is now. He could be nothing more than scar tissue by now. The larger one should continue to get smaller until it quits decreasing and stays at whatever size forever. She is looking for new lesions or checking to see if the current lesions start getting larger. That would not be good and would require another zap session. We do another MRI in three months. Rinse and repeat the rest of my life.

Tumor markers are on the rise but not by much. That could have been because they did the test after my off week and before my chemo session; basically two weeks with no treatment, blood work wise. So we aren't too concerned ... yet. They are looking at tumor markers again this week. Fingers crossed they are heading back down.

Liver enzymes continue to be stellar. White and Red blood cell counts are holding steady. My iron is a little low so I have to take an iron supplement for a month. 

All in all, pretty good. I feel off the vegetarian wagon a few times. I start another detox on Monday and will finish it on Friday. I can feel the difference when I venture into my old habits. Not a good thing. Blood pressure goes up. Acid reflux goes up. Sometimes you have to experience it to remind yourself why you are doing this in the first place.

I have to run, so I don't have time to post another recipe. I will post two next week after I get tumor markers back.

Keep dancing!!

Stay the Course

Stay the Course by Iration  I do not own the rights to this music.

This song has a reggae vibe and definitely worth a listen. The video features a sea turtle. Who doesn't like sea turtles?  Another cool find while looking for an appropriate blog title. Check it out.

Mike and I met with Dr. Kocs today. We had a whole list of questions. But, true to form, Dr, Kocs answered most of them before we could ask. Our opening dialogue is true Bishop/Kocs banter.

Me: How do you like the new system?

Kocs: I hate it! Can't you tell? I have less hair!

Me: Well, I have you beat. I have a nice round bald spot where they radiated one of the brain mets. For the rest of it, I was shedding like crazy, so Mike buzzed it off this weekend. I now have less hair than you for a change. I am blaming it on the radiation.

Kocs: Yes, let's blame it on the radiation!

We have fun.

Anyway, as you know we have mixed results from the PET. Some tumors can take longer than others to be impacted by the chemo. Some may have mutated and are a bit more resistant. I asked if we needed to biopsy some of these resistant suckers and see if any of the cancer characteristics have changed. That may be something we consider down the road if tumor markers, liver enzymes, and other tumors seem to be getting better but some tumors continue to progress for some unknown reason. Bottom line, we won't rule it out. 

I also asked why radiologists change the descriptions of the tumors they are reporting on. One of my pet peeves when reading PET results. How can I keep an accurate spreadsheet to compare results from one PET to another if they keep changing the description? That's code for "I can't project manage this cancer with bad or incomplete data"! I think I am going to blow up a picture of the lymph system and go back to all my PETS and mark the ones mentioned in the various scans. I bet I become a lymph system expert before we are done, as far as where the various nodes are located and their scientific names. Maybe that will help me decipher the PET results.

We talked about the possible mets on the bones. He isn't convinced we have mets on the bones. Could we radiate the possible mets on the L1?  We watch to see if there really is an issue on the L1; if we see a risk of fracture, high pain, or other issues caused by the cancer on the L1, then we can radiate it. The goal is to make sure I am comfortable, pain free, and prolong my life as long as possible. Dr. Kocs reiterated we still have lots of tools in our toolbox, including Piqray.

The final question is can I travel to help Matthew drive Sadie home, then go back to help nurse him to health when he has oral surgery on 6/14. Dr. Kocs says yes I can travel since we all have our vaccines, but the traveling could wear me out (I've made the 2-days each way round trip before; rough, but doable. I'll be fine). If we need to, I can send Mike back to nurse Matthew back to health on 6/14 if my cancer is misbehaving. I hope it isn't!

So ... what's the final verdict on treatment plan? We "Stay the Course"; continue with Abraxane. Abraxane has proven to be 48% effective in killing cancer cells. We have seen evidence of that ... just not across the board yet. Hoping that, between my diet and the Abraxane, we kick some of that cancer to the curb! We will be checking tumor markets every two weeks (did I tell you they are heading down  after going up two months in a row?). Let's give Abraxane a little more time to do its magic. If we notice that tumor markers are heading up, then we move up the PET, see what's going on, and possibly move on to Plan F.

Fingers crossed Abraxane does it stuff!

Friday is chemo aka "Get Your Groove On" day for the self proclaimed dancing Chemo Queen. Now that it's warmer, I can wear my Chemo Queen t-shirt (Thank you Ms Jay!), my black leggings, and my latest dancing shoes! Are these not too cute?!!

Meanwhile, in celebration of my lifestyle change, I've decided to post a recipe of one of the dishes I really, really like at the end of each blog. That by itself should keep you coming back for more 😍

First up, my new vegetable casserole. It is really, really good!

Tomato Vegetable Casserole Recipe | Giada De Laurentiis | Food Network

 https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/tomato-vegetable-casserole-recipe-1914994 Total: 55 min  Prep: 15 min Cook: 40 min Yield: 6 servings 

• 1 medium potato, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces 
• 1 medium yam, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces 
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1/2- inch pieces 
• 2 carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces 
• 5 tablespoons olive oil 
• 1 red onion, thinly sliced into rings 
• 2 small or 1 large zucchini, cut crosswise into 1/4-inch-thick pieces 
• Salt and pepper 
• 2 large ripe tomatoes, cut crosswise into 1/4- inch thick slices 
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan 
• 2 tablespoons dried Italian-style bread crumbs 
• Fresh basil sprigs, for garnish 

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

1. Toss the potato, yam, bell pepper, carrots, and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a 13 by 9 by 2-inch baking dish to coat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and toss until coated. Spread vegetables evenly over the bottom of the pan. 
2. Arrange the onion slices evenly over the vegetable mixture.
3. Arrange the zucchini over the onion.
4.  Drizzle with 2 tablespoons of oil
5. . Sprinkle with salt and pepper. 
6. Arrange the tomato slices over the zucchini. 
7. Stir the Parmesan and bread crumbs in a small bowl to blend. 
8. Sprinkle the Parmesan bread crumbs over the vegetables in the baking dish. 
9. Drizzle with the last tablespoon of olive oil. 
10. Bake uncovered until the vegetables are tender, and the topping is golden brown, about 40 minutes. Garnish with fresh basil sprigs, if desired. 

Soooo good!

One Day You Will

One Day You Will by Lady Antebellum - I do not own the rights to this music.

This is a song of hope. Facing dark times, knowing better days are ahead. This is what I hang on to. This is what I fight for ... better days ahead.

PET results are in. Whee! Once again, we have mixed results. It isn't good, but it isn't all bad. Here is a summary:

• Liver
• One slight progression
• One slight decrease
• One unchanged
• Lymph Nodes - there is a lot of lymph node involvement
• Nearly all cervical nodes show significant decrease
• Mixed response in the thorax nodes
• Two show progression
• Two show significant decrease
• One new active one showing uptake
• Overall progression in the abdomen 
• What? These have never shown up before or at least were not mentioned
• Left and right common iliac
• Porta hepatis increased
• Gastrohepatic decreased
• Bones
• New; this is disappointing
• Uptake in right aspect of L1 vertebral body suggesting early metastasis
• Focus of uptake in the lateral right fourth rib barely conspicuous
• Can we zap these?
• Overall
• Mixed response of FDG and lymphadenopathy
• Somewhat mixed response of hepatic metastatic disease
• Couple new FDG avid osseous metastases (bones)

So ... not great, not all bad. Am I surprised? By the new bone mets, yes. Overall results? No. I expected mixed results. Still hoping for NED (no evidence of disease) someday. Hope is a must!

Mike and I meet with Dr. Kocs on Wednesday to go over the results and next steps. I honestly can't predict what next steps will be. Stay the course or try something new? I can make an argument for both. Meanwhile, I'll keep doing what I can to keep up my stamina, my strength, and remain hopeful. Despite the results, I feel fine. If there is a silver lining it is the fact I feel good.

I went off the vegetarian band wagon during PET preparation. I made a new batch of lentil soup, thinking I could eat that before my PET. I was wrong. ARA called me before I had to start the special high protein low carb diet pre-PET and basically told me I could not eat my lentil soup. My only options, to stay vegetarian, was to eat leafy greens with oil and vinegar for dressing. Uh .... NO! So I finally broke down and bought a rotisserie chicken. That is all I ate beginning at noon on Tuesday. Nothing but water on Wednesday until after the PET. I lost two pounds.

I am now back ON the vegetarian band wagon and I look forward to trying some dishes my sister posted on Facebook. This girl will be cooking this weekend. I am also on the hunt for a good smoothie recipe book, one that explains the health benefits of each smoothie. If its just to give you a natural sugar rush, I'll pass. 

I will post again once we talk to Dr. Kocs. Meanwhile, here are some pictures of the lymph nodes in the abdomen and the 4th rib and L1: