1st Series of Chemo - Done; Correction - Two out of 6 months complete

Whoo Hoo!  I'm done!  For now, any way!

My blood work came back great! I am still not in the "avoid crowds" range yet, even though I was told to expect that after my fourth round of Taxol. I'm not surprised. I don't get sick, I just get cancer!

They put me in the back room on Wednesday. Punishment or reward? It's quieter, that's for sure. It took a while for my "orders" (orders = drugs) to come in, so I had a good 45 minutes of dance time before I get laid out by the Benadryl. As usual, most people ignored me. There was one guy who pretended to ignore me but would open one eye periodically to see what I was up to. One lady gave me the thumbs up; she likes to dance every morning herself! The nurses loved it. More importantly, I had fun. It makes me happy plus I get in some much needed exercise.

I wasn't sure what to expect after this latest chemical dump in my body, so soon after my last one. I did okay, but the nausea hit me early and often. It didn't interrupt Thanksgiving dinner, though. I rested a lot on Friday, took a couple of hot baths. A hot bath is my go to comfort activity when I am feeling assaulted. Nausea did that to me. I never actually got sick, but I got close once. 

I took an anti-nausea pill Friday night and I regret it. It stopped the nausea/acid reflux so I could sleep, but I woke up feeling like a zombie. I am just now, several hours later, started to feel normal. I hate taking pills if I can avoid it for this very reason.

What's next? Scans on Monday, Dr. Koc on Friday. I'm not gonna lie, I am nervous about Monday. Praying for the best, stealing myself for the worst. Any extra prayers or good juju sent my way would be appreciated!

I'll check in after test results and visit with Dr. Kocs on next steps.

What Happened to Wonder Woman?

Okay, everyone. Where did she go? Anyone? Crickets …..

I have faired quite well through the first seven rounds of chemo. I think I'm lucky in that I've had very few side effects ….. until now. Even now, I would consider them minor in nature:

•  My nasal passages are drying up, causing minor bleeding when I blow my nose. Coconut oil definitely helps (Thanks, Jen!). 
• My lips are chapping. Savannah Bee lip balm is a godsend (thanks again, Jen!).
• I have dry mouth. Biotene is a must right now; of course, a gallon of water a day can help with most of the above.
• I am having bouts of insomnia thanks to the steroids. Being an insomniac anyway, I already have non-addictive sleeping pills for that. I only take them when absolutely necessary.
• I have bouts of severe acid reflux and some nausea. My prescription meds are helping with that. Most of the time I just suck it up, but there are times when I need to pop a pill.
• I'm more tired than usual. 

I'm not complaining, just keeping it real.

Time to call out my own personal Petronus (Harry Potter reference; courtesy of Amanda Butler). There she is!!

Be gone, side effects!!

Truth be told, I hate admitting I have any side effects at all. Especially being tired. I hate feeling this cancer crap is slowing me down. I am the Warrior! I am Wonder Woman! How dare I succumb to side effects! It's a huge blow to my ego. The good news is my red and white blood cell counts still have not reached "stay away from crowds" level. 

I am a bit concerned how my body will deal with my final session of Taxol on Wednesday. Typically, my chemo sessions are one week apart. This week, it is only five days from my last round. Texas Oncology is closed for the Thanksgiving holidays on Friday. The nerve! (Just kidding there. I would feel bad if staff had to come in for a handful of us on Friday). At least I have several quiet days to recoup before heading back to the office.

I remain thankful for my family, my friends, and my co-workers who lift me up everyday! Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Managing The Most Important Project of My Life

Saving my life …. or at the very least, extending it for as long as I can. How do you take control of a project where you have very little control? Especially with a cancer type that is sneaky, sneaky, sneaky and quite unpredictable.

One way is to learn as much as I can:

1. Understand the specific characteristics of my type of cancer, ILC and Metastatic Breast Cancer
2. How to read the PET/CT/MRI
3. Understanding the blood work and what it means when levels go up or down
4. Understanding which blood tests should I pay the most attention to
5. Will changes in diet or activity levels impact test results
6. Treatment options and their risks

It's a bit overwhelming sometimes. Put on your PM hat and get to work!!

I created a spreadsheet to help me track the many insurance claims (53 to date); what is being paid, what is my financial responsibilty, where have I overpaid, etc. To date, vendors have submitted over 93K in claims. Cancer is a BIG business. 

I created a second spreadsheet to help track blood work and compare results week to week. I want to know chemo's impact on my body from a blood level perspective.

Hubby and I created a communication plan. This blog is part of that plan; therapeutic for me plus keeps friends and family in the loop. We also have scheduled conference calls with the kids once a week to discuss the latest so they hear it from us before I post to the blog. I try to get one-on-one time with the grandbabies at least once a month, not to talk cancer, but to stay connected and keep all lines of communication open.

I will create a risk management plan once we know treatment options, the pros and cons of each, and recommendations from my doctor on how to mitigate risk associated with each option.

I am working on the project schedule to include education, communication, documentation, diet and exercise and treatment tasks. I am managing this project in Phases, with each phase lasting three years. It may be unrealistic, but I am planning on at least six phases, more if I can make it happen.

I think I will even create a charter. How can you manage a project without the charter? How can I manage scope creep without a charter? Actually, this needs to be done before everything else. Guess I'll be writing a charter this weekend :)

Seven Down, One to Go - Whoop!!

It's Chemo Day 7. Whoo Hoo!

As is typical with most Chemo days, I have what I call the breakfast of champions. No frittata today, but I did have quiche and berries. Yum! Get dressed, prep chemo bag, and we're off.

Mike dropped me off. Why? Because I have a new chaperone today - my daughter, Nicole! She needed to take the kiddos to school and the baby to day care before heading into Round Rock. After I check in, I went to check out all the silent auction items Texas Oncology has laid out; proceeds benefit the patients. When I turn around and head to my seat, someone starts walking towards me .. like they know me. Duh! It's my daughter. In my defense, she recently got her hair cut and recolored so it took me a few seconds. I'd blame it on chemo brain , but ….  Never mind; let's do that; let's blame it on chemo brain!

First off, let me just say, the place was an icebox! Dang, it was cold in there!! Luckily, I had a warm blanket (Did you see the pic? Isn't it gorgeous! And sooooo warm!). My niece Morgan made it for me.

Second, I am such a goober sending stuff from my phone to my blog. Nicole had to fix my mess. Thank you, Nic!! The blanket pic and the song were uploaded, per my request, by Nicole. It would have never made it without her help. You'd think being in IT I wouldn't be so technically challenged sometimes. It isn't true but let's blame that on chemo brain, too! In fact, I am officially putting everyone on notice that when I do or say something stupid or act the fool, it will be chemo brain, whether that's true or not. I'll just say "Chemo brain" or CB if I'm being lazy. Instead of giving someone "stink eye" it will be "chemo eye".

First, the guy came over and took my vitals, offered me a pillow and warm blanket. I'm good. I wish I knew his name. He typically works in the back room, but today he was in the thick of things in the main infusion room. My blood pressure was crazy; 168/whatever number. I asked him to take it again. Much better; 138/75. Not great, but much better. He was such a sweetie. I need to ask his name next time. Oh, who am I kiiding! I won't remember - chemo brain! Actualy, I suck at remembering names, but remember my new mantra ... chemo brain!

My nurse, Sarah, drew the short straw today. She kinda intimidated me. She is a no nonsense women and I am all kind of nonsense during chemo. She put the IV in, no pain at all. She flushes the port, draws blood, then starts the drip to keep my port nice and clear. Then off she goes.

Now this is when I typically start dancing .... while waiting on lab results to make sure chemo is still on for the day. But I just couldn't do it. Why? First, I was afraid Sarah would tell me I had to stop. Second, I didn't want to embarress my daughter. But the real kicker is I was facing the WRONG WAY! Sounds silly but I had never faced the back wall, always toward the front. Threw me for a loop ... a chemo loop. Brandy even stopped by and asked why no dancing? The ladies were looking forward to it. Turns out, I wouldn't have had too much time to dance. Sarah turned out to be a Rock Star and had labs back and drugs in hand within minutes. I was too harsh on Sarah. She was great and a delight to work with. Had me out of there in 2 hours, 15 minutes.

I enjoyed spending time with Nicole during chemo. We had fun reading some of Nash's corny jokes and memes. He is a master of finding silly memes. And new pics of Hazel. She is too cute!! Of course, I had to zone out for a bit  after the Benadry kicked in. I always fight it, but there comes a point where I just can't do it and I'm down for about 15 minutes or so.

True to form, after the Benadryl and steroids, here comes Papa Bear - Taxol! With Papa Bear comes the ice. Did I say I hate the ice? But I would hate neuropathy and black or no nails even more. Ice it is! I can only handle about thirty minutes or so before I need a 10-minute break. Perfect timing. My bladder was protesting all the fluids and was demanding more room. I listended to my bladder, gave her the room she needed, and headed back for the ice torture. Nicole had to help me get me feet and hands in the ice things. She goes "Dang! These are cold!". Yep!

11:15 and I am headed home. Nic and I stopped and picked up lunch and headed home. After lunch, the Benadryl kicked in again. I slept for three hours.

Next chemo day on Wednesday. Let's go out with a bang! Dancing back on, even if I am facing the wrong way. SUCK. IT. UP. BUTTERCUP.  I am thinking a head-banger and old time rock theme next week. If this doesn't make me look like a total goober, nothing will:

1. Heart - Barracuda (gotta do air guitar on this one)
2. Evanescence
3. One Republic
4. Phil Collins
5. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
6. Queen
7. Doobie Brothers
8. Styx
9. Arrowsmith

"See" you next Wednesday!!

"I Feel Your Pain"

Every now and then I decide to wear a wig to work. Unfortunately, it usually isn't long before the wig is off; it's too hot, too itchy, or just uncomfortable. I wore the wig on Wednesday. True to form, it didn't last long. A co-worker is "feeling my pain"! Too funny!

Staying Warm

Chemo day 7!  Keeping warm in this "refrigerator" with my blanket from Morgan!

From Nicole -"I'm Gonna Love You Through It"

She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don't discriminate
or care if you're just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, "I know that you're afraid and I am, too
But you'll never be alone, I promise you"

When you're weak, I'll be strong
When you let go, I'll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear
That I'll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can't take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it.

She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"
He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"

When you're weak, I'll be strong
When you let go, I'll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear
That I'll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can't take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it.

And when this road gets too long
I'll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it.
I'm gonna love you through it.

Music Video of the song

Cathy's Back and More

Cathy's back to fix me some more amazing goodies! But first, I cooked for her … and hubby. Believe it or not, I made a spinach and arugula lasagna for Thursday dinner. It was good. We still have some left over, so I think I will freeze some of it for a later date. I've come to appreciate making a bunch and freezing half for later!!

What's on the menu this weekend? Yummy stuff!

• Chile verde soup
• Potato soup - one of my favorite comfort foods
• Pulled Pork
• Dilly Bread
• Chocolate sheet cake with fudge icing (for AJ's birthday)
• Indian Tacos
• Stuffed port tenderloin
• Creamy potato casserole
• Tomato Basil soup

Cathy and I started a new Christmas puzzle. I don't remember if we started Thursday night or Friday. Anyway, it was looking doubtful that we'd finish over the weekend, but it's now looking like we will finish Saturday night …. with a little help from my grandson AJ.

This weekend was suppose to include both of my grandsons, each with one on one time with Nana. Sadly, David came home from school with congestion and a nasty cough. We thought it best to keep him home. It was a good call. He came down with a nasty rash on his chest later in the evening. Nicole took him to the doctor Saturday morning. Turns out my baby has allergies and an upper respitory infection. He's feeling better but still a bit puny. That's okay. They stopped by for a few minutes after his appointment cuz they were close to the house. I put together a goodie bag for David with some of the special snacks I bought for his visit, plus a favorite bath bomb (both of my boys love the bath bombs; it's now a staple when they come to visit; I must have bath bombs on hand). David and I have reschedule our one-on-one for Thanksgiving weekend.

I have AJ from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon. AJ just turned 15, so I am thankful that he still wants to spend time with his Nana. We are trying some new cookie recipes to see what we want to surprise the family with this year. AJ and I have been baking cookies together since he was 1 or 2. It is one of our favorite things to do. The first cookie we tried was a chocolate cookie with vanilla and chocolate icing with peppermint chunks. It's good, but quite messy. Not sure if it will make the family cut. Next up is snickerdoodles. We will start on the snickerdoodles as soon as I get off this computer. Then tomorrow we will try Mocha brownies. In between making cookies, AJ has helped a lot on our puzzle, one reason will may finish tonight. I also bought a new family game I want to try called Ticket to Ride London. They have several different versions of this very popular game. I want to see if it is as much fun as I've heard. If so, there may be a surprise for AJ and his family under the tree this year.

Off to make memories with my oldest grandson!  Chao!

Chemo #6

Six down, two more to go!

I get up around 7 to get ready to leave for chemo by 8:30. I cook some bacon, Cathy whips up a frittata and we have a breakfast fit for chemo champions. I pack up my chemo bag with chemo necessities:

• Blanket (one that Debbie, Amanda, and Jennifer bought me)
• Chapstick
• Hand lotion
• Water
• Socks for my hands (the ice treatment)

I make sure I wear nice warm fuzzy socks, also courtesy of my sister in law and my nieces, to help with the ice treatment on my feet. Worked like a charm.

I whip out the lidocaine squeeze a big glob over my port, then cover with plastic wrap an hour before my appointment. That also worked like a charm. Didn't feel it at all when they put in the multipurpose IV - blood draw, flush drip, steroids, Benadryl, anti-nausea stuff, Pepcid, and finally the king of the show, Taxol.

Cathy and I arrive a little before nine. They get us in right away and start the blood draws for my labs. Again, while waiting on lab results, I gotta dance. The guy next to me laughed, the guy and his wife across from me left. They left!! I wonder if I'm going to get the "do not dance" lecture next time I go in. I'll fight that one. What's on the playlist today? A little of everything:

Bang Bang - Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj 

Long Train Running - Doobie Brothers

Think - Aretha Franklin

Mornin' - Al Jarreau

Loving, Touching, Squeezing - Journey

Turn Your Love Around - George Benson

I bet very few of you have heard all of these. Check em out! Next week I should have some hip hop in there. I am hoping to learn a few hip hop steps from a much younger friend of mine (I could be her Mom) so I don't look like such a goober. Course, on old women whipping out hip hop may break the goober scale. Whatever!  Time to dance!!

In between songs, a massage therapist stopped by and offered me a hand and/or foot massage. I chose the hand massage this time around. IT WAS GREAT!! Apparently, there is a group that comes in two or three times a week to give complementary hand/feet massages to patients going through chemo. 

Did you know there are licensed massage therapists that specialize in massage for cancer patients?

The oncology massage therapists will adapt massage techniques for:

• fatigue and peripheral neuropathy
• low blood cell counts and blood clots
• bone metastases and bone pain
• medication and medical devices
• radiation or surgery
• removal of lymph nodes
• lymphedema
• late effects of treatments

For more information, please go to this site:

Oncology Massage Alliance

You can also reach them by email at oncologymassagealliance@gmail.com or give them a call at 512-799-2655. I'm going to see what my doctor can do to prescribe this so maybe insurance will cover it. Some do, some don't.

Blood work came back and all systems look good. Still no signs of blood counts going down to the "stay away from crowds" level. I am amazing myself on how well I am handling chemo! To date, the only side effects are occasional constipation and insomnia. I have medication for both.

Believe it or not, we finish by 11:00 AM. Yes, your read that right - we finished within 2 hours! Knock me over with a feather! On the way out, I ran into a friend from work who had an appointment with Dr. Kocs at 11:00. She knew I was there, so they let her in so she could say Hi. I ran into her at the infusion desk checking on where I was! It was so great to see her! We hugged, I introduced her to Cathy, then we headed into the lobby. My friend is also a minister, so she wanted to pray with us. It was quite touching and moving. Then she goes to her appointment and I head home.

Another chemo day down!

Here is me with my chemo bag. Note the socks, sweater, and blanket from Debbie and her girls, Jennifer and Amanda, and my hat from Morgan! I need to take a pic of the blanket Morgan made for me that I took to chemo the week before, it's beautiful and warm!

Plan? Who Needs a Plan?

One of the hardest things for me right now is the inability to plan anything in my life except in four week increments. Can you come for Christmas? I don't know. Can you come to my party mid-December? Who knows? I don't know if I'll be in chemo, I don't know how my body will react to the next three rounds of chemo. I don't know if more chemo is in my future. I DON'T KNOW!! All I know is I finish chemo on 11/27, have scans on 12/2, and meet with the doctor on 12/6. My current four week plan. As a project manager professional, I live and die by the "plan" every day. So you can imagine what it's like not having a long term plan. I am lucky to have a month to month plan.

Now a good project manager has to be flexible and change direction on a dime to avoid disaster (and I AM a good PM, if I must say so myself). Much of that ability is honed over time, sometimes relying on similar circumstances in past projects. But I find myself in unfamiliar territory. My only "cancer-fighting" experience includes two surgeries and a pill every day for six years. It doesn't exactly prepare for me for what we are facing now. So I need to rely on my gut instincts and trust that my "subject matter experts", aka the doctors, are being straight shooters when discussing options.

Another skill of a good project manager is the ability to detect when someone is "blowing smoke up my dress". Fortunately, my Bullshit Meter is one of my greater assets. I can typically smell it a mile away. And I won't hesitate to call it out. I typically have little tolerance for BS, but I assure you I have NO tolerance for BS when fighting cancer. BSers - You've been warned.

I am looking forward to the next few weeks, the scans and the results. Maybe we can plan a little longer than four weeks this time. That would make my PM self very happy.

Is There an Author in the House?

Many have told me I need to write a book. Now, keep in mind these "many" are family that love me so their view is a bit biased. Still something to consider, especially if my ramblings can help or inspire others.

I decided early on that my goal is to be here in three years. Then when I hit that milestone, I shoot for the next three years. Rinse and repeat in three year increments (hopefully, I live long enough for pharmaceuticals to quit burying alleged cancer cures or somehow we convince them it can be as lucrative to cure cancer as it is to treat it; another topic for another time). This is the project manager coming out again … or is it "still"?

With my survival goals in mind, I am thinking the three-year mark would be a good place to tie it up with a bow and put it in a book. If nothing else, it will be something to give the kids and grandkids so they don't forget their Mom or the Nanaest Nana ever (that's me - just ask my grandsons). 

Here is a picture of the Nanaest Nana ever and one of my grandsons. I'm the taller one:

Midnight Musings #2

Steroids are finally getting to me. I can't sleep - again! So, it's either a treat or a curse that I am back, rambling in the middle of the night. I asked my friend Jen, mother earth and knower of all things, if she had this issue way back when and is there a natural way to combat it. Lucky for me, or not depending on your view, Jen tried it all so I don't have to. Saved me a lot of time and frustration, not to mention even more sleepless nights, trying to find something natural that will help me sleep. For steroid induced insomnia, a sleeping pill is my best bet. 

To be fair, pre-MBC diagnosis, I've been known to be somewhat of an insomniac, sleeping no more than 5 hours a night. I ended up watching a lot of Dr. Phil. OMG the drama! Anyway, my primary doc, Dr. Zook, has been telling me about the necessity of me getting my 8 hours in. He is a huge proponent of a good night's sleep. Especially at my "age" and cancer history. So he prescribed non-addictive sleeping pills several months ago. I have barely touched them. My mission this weekend is to find the correct dosage for me. I can take from 1/2 up to 2 pills a night; the trick is to take enough to help me sleep for 8 hours without waking up feeling like a zombie. Fingers crossed!

I am putting together a notebook with ALL my test results. I want to be able to compare one scan to another, one blood test to another, as we progress through treatment. I plan on creating a spreadsheet which details all my blood tests so I can easily see differences from week to week. Who knows when this information will come in handy in the future. I can pull and print all my test results from the patient portal at Texas Oncology; sadly, I can't easily copy and paste blood work results from an html page into an excel spreadsheet without major cleanup. I will see if they can send it to me in an email or put them on a DVD. I also need to find a way to get the CT, PET, and MRI images. I know I don't have the expertise to "read" them correctly, but I have the corresponding write up. I'd like to see the gnarly, weird tumor (docs description, not mine) that I've named Voldemort. On my to-do list when I go in for chemo #6 on Friday.

Sounds like someone is trying to project manage their cancer treatment. Who could that possibly be?

A Real Doll!

One of the front desk staff dressed up as a doll for Halloween! Her name is Jennifer and she looked great! She shared her picture with me and gave me permission to post it here.

Jennifer is such a sweetie! I love the hat!

This Is Me!

Send by my daughter, Nicole. So me!

Chemo Day 5

This Friday was a cold and dreary day, perfect for a chemo session! I get up at 5:30 (well, Sam insisted I get up at 5:30) and take Sam for a walk … in the rain. I wouldn't really call it rain, more of a heavy drizzle. Enough so that I had to dry Sam off as soon as we got home.

After the walk, my Mother-In-Law (MIL), Merle, and I had the chemo breakfast of champions - a yummy quiche and fresh fruit. Plus coffee. After breakfast, I start getting ready for chemo:

• Charge my phone
• Charge my IPOD
• Take a shower and wash my hair ... actually my head. I have hair but very little. 
• Get dressed
•  Note: I decide to wear a short sleeve shirt; I've convince the heavy sweaters I wore last week were behind the very high blood pressure readings
• I did wear my new soft plush sweater from Deb and her girls (LOVE!!); it was cold outside! I took it off for the blood pressure
• Results: 136/79 - Not great but I'll take it!
• Put on my dancing shoes
• Glob on the lidocaine - you can never have too much lidocaine!
• Prepare my chemo bag:
•  Blanket from my niece Morgan
• IPOD
• Phone
• Lip Balm
• Water
• Socks for my hands (for the ice treatment - brrr)
• ID and Debit card
• Ready to go. 

Glad we left a few minutes early. Note to self: avoid Round Rock donuts at 8:30 AM. Traffic was crazy! It took us about 10 minutes just to get past RR donuts! Cars and people backed up everywhere.

Merle still got us there in plenty of time. For the first time, there was a good sized line to check in at Texas Oncology. Computer issues. Told you it was a dreary day!

Regardless, I get called back to the infusion room without too much wait, get assigned a chair and a nurse - I got Ms. Brandy again!

Once Brandy did the blood work and hooked up fluids, I can dance while we wait on lab results. I was a little concerned because my temp was up from my normal 97 to 99.5. Luckily, not enough to stop chemo! Before I continue, I know y'all are all thinking "Luckily? - is she nuts?". I was asking myself the same question cuz chemo was never something I wanted to do. Having said that, it seems to be working and I don't want to give Voldemort an opportunity to go to plan B to avoid what we hope is a certain death or at least a severe ass whooping!

Back to dancing! Once again, I had an older man laugh at me, I got a few glares from others, but mostly the reaction was "You go girl!" Brandy missed me dancing the last visit cuz she was swamped, but the nurse next to her told her that I danced last week and it made her day. Turns out it made a lot of staff happy. One of the ladies from the front desk came back for something and was shocked to see me dance … but she smiled and waved. I only got a handful of songs in before Brandy was back with the Benadryl. Once I get the Benadryl, I'm down for the count. My playlist this time:

• Billy Jean by Michael Jackson
• RESPECT by Aretha Franklin
• Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars
• Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
• Cruisin' by Huey Lewis and the News with Gwyneth Paltrow (love this version!)

Here comes the Taxol - and the ice gloves for my hands and feet. It is always a bit chilly in that room, but Friday took it to a whole new level. Morgan's blanket is nice and warm, but I still needed a heated blanket on top of it! Then off I go to lala land (the Benadryl). For the first time, I sleep through the entire round of Taxol, all but the last 10 minutes. I also left my hands and feet in the ice gloves the whole time without having to take a 5 or 10 minute break! I am not gonna lie …. I wanted to pull those things off more than once. But mind or matter prevailed, I feel asleep, and made it through another round of chemo.

Note on lab results: my blood counts, liver and kidney function are great! I was expecting the blood cell counts to be such that I needed to stay away from crowds. I was told to expect that after the 4th session. But it didn't! So business as usual!

Home from chemo a little after noon. I fixed tomato basil soup and grilled cheese sandwich (to die for - one of my favorite comfort foods), then took my post chemo nap. I was out until 4:30 or so.

Onward through the fog!!

Midnight Musings

Well, technically 3 AM. Sam woke me up "cleaning" his feet; dang, he's loud! We think it's allergies. Regardless, I couldn't go back to sleep, so here we are.

Although a diagnosis metastatic breast cancer totally sucks, I am blessed in so many ways:

• I have a hubby who "gets me" and is comfortable with letting me be me, even though it can be embarrassing at times (for him, not for me)
• I have amazing kids who have turned into adults any parent can be proud of, most notably their compassion for others, diligent work ethic, love of family, protector of all children, and fur baby fanatics
• I have siblings, siblings-in-law, and extended family who truly have my back and are in this fight with me, each in their own way, whether it be a random call, a text, a blog or Facebook comment, homemade warmth, surprises out of nowhere, healthy and yummy food; the list is endless; I need more thank you cards!
• Co-workers who make sure I eat, drink my water, get my exercise, and won't let me overdo it; they always ask how I'm doing
•  A boss who makes sure my health is number one priority and works with me on my scheduling so I can continue to be a productive team member while going through treatments
• Several friends that check in on me on a regular basis
• A medical team that continues to look out for me and always answer my questions and concerns with frank honest discussions; invaluable to me

I am also grateful for my new King size bed! I thought I could have more than a sliver of the bed; I can, but I have to fight for it. Sam decides he needs to take up all available space. He glares at me when I "encourage" him to lay lengthwise so I can have some space.

I am also very happy that I found my wireless mouse while cleaning out nightstands in preparation of the new furniture arriving soon. Add new batteries and we're good to go. Seriously! This little discovery made me very happy!

Cancer sucks! But life is good!

Back to bed!

Dr. Day, Plus Chemo #4

Friday = Chemo Day!  But first, we visit with Dr. Kocs.

Let me start by saying my blood pressure when I was in the office Thursday and Friday was very high, especially for this 120/70 girl. So much so that I made them take it again. On Friday, it weighed in at 160/100. Egad! This can stop the chemo session in its tracks. I've seen them turn patients away if their blood pressure was too high. What to do, what to do? I got a home blood pressure machine. I am suppose to take my blood pressure every morning and every night, log the results, and bring them in next week. So far, so good: 120/71 and 130/80. Note that last result may be user error. I am medical machine challenged.

Now on to the chat with Dr. Kocs. Dr. Kocs felt around my neck and left shoulder/pec area. He is very pleased that we have noticeable improvement with just three chemo sessions. The tumors are shrinking! Yay! He is also pleased that, so far, I am handling chemo quite well. I told him I still have my hair, just shaved it off a little earlier than maybe I should. Never fear, he says. I WILL lose my hair, but it may be more gradual. He says it will thin out, grow back, thin out more, grow back less, until nothing more to thin out and no growing back. No worries. I'm prepared with my hoorags, beanies, scarves, and wigs. I love that I have choices. Dr. Kocs also said my cancer has the same characteristics as before: estrogen/progesterone positive, HER2 negative, grade 2. This means a new hormone therapy could be in my future. Grade 2 means it is no more aggressive than it was at initial diagnosis. This is good news.

Next up, four more chemo sessions with the last one the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Then I do another CT scan early the following week before my Thursday, Dec 6th appointment with Dr. Kocs. This will be the big one folks! We will find out just how well the Taxol is working, how much the tumor(s) are shrinking (hopefully they are gone!), and next steps. I know my preference is that whatever we do will keep the monster away for 2 - 3 years before it rears its ugly head again.

After meeting with Dr, Kocs, I head over for chemo. First up, fluids. My kidneys want more fluids. So I am getting fluids through my port while we wait on test results. I am also dancing while waiting on test results. Who says I have to get my fluids laying down? Blood counts and kidney/liver function hanging tough, so we're on! I'm still dancing while they add the steroid drip to the mix. The dancing stops, though, when it's time for the Benadryl. Benadryl straight to the veins makes me loopy. After the Benadryl comes the Taxol and the ice bath for the feet and hands (I can only tolerate the ice for 20 minutes at a time before I need a little break). The ice protects my nails from turning black or possibly falling off from the chemo. It also helps protect against neuropathy. I'll take the cold over black nails and neuropathy any day.

So I mention that I danced for 30 minutes or more before Benadryl. My nurse loved it! The guy across from me laughed and told my husband he didn't realize he was getting a show with his chemo, and everyone else either glared at me or ignored me altogether. What a bunch of party poopers! Regardless, I am going to keep this up. It makes me happy and I get much needed exercise while I wait. It's a win/win as far as I'm concerned. Maybe some of these people will lighten up after a while!

Anyway, hubby got a video.  Don't judge!

Genetic Testing

I had an appointment on Thursday to discuss genetic testing. I am told it will help identify other treatment options as we move forward. Our insurance may cover it in its entirety because of my current diagnosis. We'll see. I can still opt out if they don't cover it.

If any of you have done any cancer genetic screening, then you may be familiar with the company. It is Invitae, genetic testing for hereditary cancer. To be honest, I doubt if any of my cancer is related to genetics. I could be wrong.

Anyway, they test for 47 different genes, nine for breast cancer alone.  Here are the 47 genes they test for:

APC, ATM, AXIN2, BARD1, BMPR1A, BRCA1, BRCA2, BRIP1, CDH1, CDK4, CDKN2A, CHEK2, CTNNA1, DICER1, EPCAM, GREM1, HOXB13, KIT, MEN1, MLH1, MSH2, MSH3, MSH6, MUTYH, NBN, NF1, NTHL1, PALB2, PDGFRA, PMS2, POLD1, POLE, PTEN, RAD50, RAD51C, RAD51D, SDHA, SDHB, SDHC, SDHD, SMAD4, SMARCA4, STK11, TP53, TSC1, TSC2, VHL. 

The genes specific to breast cancer are ATM, BRCA1, BRCA2, CDH1, CHEK2, PALB2, PTEN, STK11M and TP53. Other than BRCA 1 and 2, the others are foreign to me. I suspect they are foreign to most of you as well.

Let's see if we can shed some light on the subject:

•  ATM - ATM is a DNA-damage response gene that is commonly mutated in cancer. Germline mutations in this gene are thought to contribute to breast cancer susceptibility, and PARP inhibition is currently being studied for it's potential in treating these patients. It has been suggested that women who carry a mutation in the ATM gene have an estimated 20-60% increased risk for breast cancer
• CDH1 - People with HDGC often get a kind of stomach cancer called “diffuse gastric cancer.” This type of stomach cancer is hard to find at early stages, because it does not form a noticeable tumor that can be easily seen with screening. Women with HDGC have a high risk for a type of breast cancer that forms in the lobules of the breast. This is different than the more common type of breast cancer that starts in the milk ducts. It is recommended that women with CDH1 mutations start their breast screening at age 35 or earlier if they have relatives who had breast cancer at younger ages. It is also recommended that this screening include MRIs in addition to mammograms.
• CHEK2 - Women with mutations in the CHEK2 gene have an increased risk for breast cancer, sometimes at relatively young ages. This increase in risk is not as high as what is seen in women with mutations in the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, but it is high enough to consider ways to reduce cancer risk and to increase screening in an attempt to find any breast cancers that do develop as early as possible. A woman who has a CHEK2 mutation, and who has already had breast cancer, has a high risk of developing a second breast cancer within the next 5 to 25 years. Men with mutations in the CHEK2 gene also have an increased risk for breast cancer. This risk is much smaller than the risk for women.
• PALB2 - The PALB2 gene is called the partner and localizer of the BRCA2 gene. It provides instructions to make a protein that works with the BRCA2 protein to repair damaged DNA and stop tumor growth. Women with mutations of the PALB2 gene are at a 58% lifetime higher risk of developing breast cancer.
• PTEN - Phosphatase and tensin homolog (PTEN) is a protein that, in humans, is encoded by the PTEN gene. Mutations of this gene are a step in the development of many cancers.
• STK11 - The STK11 gene (also called LKB1) provides instructions for making an enzyme called serine/threonine kinase 11. This enzyme is a tumor suppressor. People with mutations in the STK11 gene have a condition called Peutz-Jeghers Syndrome, or PJS. People with PJS have a high risk for many different types of cancer, including breast, colon, pancreatic, stomach, small bowel, cervical, and endometrial. 
• TP53 - TP53 or tumor protein is a gene that codes for a protein that regulates the cell cycle and hence functions as a tumor suppression. If you have a TP53 mutation, the gene cannot control the growth of tumors.

Please note I just listed a high level description of the genes and mutation. To learn more, Google is your friend here. There is a lot of information available online that goes into much more detail about the gene and the impact of genetic mutations of these genes.

Fingers crossed that I have no genetic mutations.