What's on the Menu?

Everything! Cathy is back this weekend and cooking up a storm! She won't be back for a few weeks and wants to make sure baby sister has all the goodies she needs (baby sister = me).

Cathy made a great white ginger coffee cake after she got here. She also made me another frittata for breakfast before chemo. After chemo she made a fabulous port tenderloin and sweet potato hash (so good!). She also made tomato basil soup, some to keep in the fridge and some to freeze.

Today is Sunday and Cathy leaves tomorrow. She kicked into a whole new cooking gear. So far this morning, she has cooked:

• Quiche
• Banana muffins
• Peanut Butter pie for Nash's birthday dinner tonight
• Roast is in the oven for Nash's birthday dinner
• Twice baked potatoes 
• A second white ginger coffee cake to freeze

I'm exhausted …. and salivating …. just watching her cook! Obviously, she had no idea I was taking this picture. But it seemed so appropriate, with the island covered with utensils and ingredients!

I feel so fortunate and grateful that my sister came to take care of me for a few days!

Chemo Day 3

Since it's Friday, it's CHEMO Day!

Today's chemo day started off with a little drama. Last week while prepping for chemo, Cathy and I were having trouble putting the lid back on the lidocaine (I put it on my port 1 hour before my chemo so it doesn't hurt when they stab me; I'm told the more lidocaine the better). It was messy. So Cathy and I decided to put the tube of lidocaine in a baggie and then put baggie and all back in the box. We haven't seen the lidocaine since. Needless to say, I was mildly panicked. Enter Project Manager.

Cathy and I searched everywhere, starting in the most logical places, the kitchen where we bagged it up, and my bathroom where it came from in the first place. We also looked in the most illogical places, like the refrigerator and freezer. You never know! We looked in every cabinet, every drawer , with no luck. I am convinced it will turn up sooner or later and we will all be flabbergasted on its location. Not deterred, I called Texas Oncology, explained the situation, and asked that they call in another prescription in time for me to pick it up and apply it an hour before my appointment. I am not a fan of pain. The nurse called me back; refill called in. I may need to pay regular price because it's too early for a refill. No problem - I am not a fan of pain. She advised I call HEB to advise I am okay paying full price and ask they fill immediately. Cathy and I change clothes, make sure my chemo bag is in order, give Sam his peanut butter bone, and head to the pharmacy. Sure enough, they had the lidocaine waiting. I applied it in the car and off we went to my chemo appointment. Crisis averted. To answer the unasked question, yes, I put the new tube of lidocaine in my medicine cabinet.

We were early today, but the receptionist let us go back to the infusion rooms anyway. Maybe we will finish early? I got checked in and assigned a chair. Here comes the nurse to draw blood to make sure blood levels and kidney and liver function are okay before starting the chemo. Next stop, the PA. We waited forever for the PA. Well, it felt like forever. I am not a patient person sometimes; well, most times. However, I make a conscience effort to keep negative energy from entering the universe on my behalf. I need ALL the good Karma I can get, so creating bad Karma is not okay.

I finally get in to see Rachel. This is a new PA to me, but I really liked her. Cathy and I asked a lot of questions. I asked specifically about the pathology report from my biopsy. The full details are still not in and/or posted to my chart yet. Not too happy about that, but pleasantly surprised by what Rachel relayed next: Dr. Kocs ordered a genetic test on the tumor. Not to determine if I have some gene that makes me more susceptible to cancer, but to determine the genetic makeup of the tumor(s) itself. This will help guide us in other treatment options. This information is due back in another week or so. I can't wait to see the results. I also asked for a copy of my MRI report and a copy of my actual PET scan. I should probably ask for a copy of the MRI as well so I can look at my bones (I have osteoporosis so this will give me a glimpse on how I'm doing in that area). I should be able to access these online or pick up copies at my next visit. This is where I also learn that I may never have issues with hair loss, low blood cell counts, or adverse side effects of Taxol. Everyone is different. So far, I am handling chemo quite well, the only concern is I need to drink more water, as my kidneys are showing signs of dehydration. That gallon of water a day is a struggle but necessary. PM hat on to determine the best way to ensure that happens. Water milestones throughout the day.

After we finish with Rachel, back to the infusion room. It wasn't long before the nurse showed up with the pre-taxol cocktail of Benadryl, anti-nausea stuff, and steroids. When that was done, she shows up with the Taxol. I ask if I have to take chemo lying down. Guess what? NO I DON'T! Dance party next session!! I even asked specifically if I could dance during taxol, even with iced feet and hands. The answer? "Yes you can and make sure you let me know". I think I may have others joining me! Whoop! Actually, I planned on bringing my headphones and my ipod today, but forgot them with the lidocaine drama. That's okay. Gives me another week to practice up on my best moves! Oh, we still finished by 2 PM. Impressive!

In short, I am doing quite well with this chemo stuff so far. Onward! Let's kick some cancer booty!!

Hair? Not Here!

Well, I did it. I asked Amy, my hair dresser, to buzz my hair before it fell out on it's own. Now I've taken it a step further … I shaved my head. Actually, I did not shave it. I went to the barber shop down the street from my office, Finley's. Here is the link to the 3rd Avenue location:  Finley's Barber Shop. They have several Texas locations, include many in the Austin and surrounding areas. Check them out!

My appointment was with a guy named Cory. He has experience with friends and family diagnosed with cancer and is very sympatric to the cause. Note: His friends and family kicked cancer to the curb, but not without a fight. Cory was so sweet and very sensitive to my emotional state of mind. I am happy to say this was an easy and unemotional decision for me. As Amy can attest, I am fearless when trying new hair things cuz "hair is hair"; it grows back if you don't like the result (of course with Amy, I always LOVED the result). So shaving my head was not much different. I told Cory he didn't need to worry. I wasn't going to cry. And I didn't … then.

First, let me back up a bit. The scheduler (wish I remembered her name) is amazing and super, super sweet! She made sure I was paired with someone sympathetic to my plight. Second, going into a barbershop as a woman is a bit weird. They offered me a beer or any other non-alcoholic beverage of my choice, then escorted me to the back room waiting my turn. The back room is a cool man cave! There is a beautiful wooden bench wrapped around the room, a huge flat screen TV on the wall playing sports (what else - it's a man cave!), a pinball machine, and a mini-fridge. The only thing missing was a couch or overstuffed chairs. But hey, this is a barber shop. I love this room. Of course, I was the only woman there. Before I left the room, I had been joined by no less than 6 guys. Not one of them looked at me weird; actually, they didn't look at me at all.

Cory called my name and escorted me to his station; the bliss begins! First, the hot towels! I love hot towels, hot blankets, hot showers. Soothes my soul … and my cold body! Then the lotion on my head, I am guessing to make what little hair I had stand up a bit more. Cory started by buzzing my head to the stubs, followed by more hot towels. Then the shave cream and … wait for it … the RAZOR! The old-timey razor you see in the barber shop scene in Westerns. Guess it isn't so old-timey, huh? Regardless, Cory handled that razor with skill and dexterity. He did a fabulous job!

After the shave, I asked Cory if I can rock going commando (talking hairless head, not commando in the more common meaning). Luckily, I have a nice round head with no dents or bumps. Commando it is! Well, with a pink bow. But that's it! I put on the pink bow, paid my bill, and headed out.

I was pleasantly surprised to find my dear work friend waiting for me. I would love to mention her name cuz, for me, it was a BIG DEAL! She is very humble and thinks it's nothing. Bah! But I don't want to embarrass her. If I get permission, I will reveal her identity another time. She wanted to be there in case I had a hard time handling the bald head. I was greeted with "do you want to sit down? go for a walk? head back to the office? you okay?). I hugged her. How thoughtful … and selfless. I was so happy to see her! I still didn't cry, but I did mist up a bit, but not where it was noticeable by others. I was crying with joy on the inside, as I was so touched by the gesture.

We ran into a co-worker waiting to cross the street to the office. He shaves his head, so now we have something in common. He saw me and laughed. The perfect reaction for me!! Those in my office that didn't know I have cancer know it now! I was surprised by the number of people surpirsed. I thought we had a more robust rumor mill. I guess that's a good thing. Regardless, I sent a link to the blog to those shocked by the bald head. To be honest, many thought it was just Vicki being Vicki - another funky hair thing.

Another touching thing that happened on Wednesday is when another co-worker stopped by and gave me a card and a hug, then walked off. It was a very touching card, with a pair of bedazzled butterfly sunglasses. So Vicki! For those of you that don't work with me, I have a collection of funky glasses that I whip out in meetings that could get heated. You can't be mad when you are looking at an old lady with curlers and the pointy glasses, or Captain America, or Luigi, or Flash, or a mustached man, or a cute cat. The list goes on. And now adding a bedazzled pair of butterfly sunglasses!

Note: Something I learned today; people having chemo with Taxol do not always lose their hair. I may have jumped the gun a bit. LOL! No worries. I rock the bald! 

Here are pics of my bow and the sunglasses!

Sam Supporting Breast Cancer Awareness for His Nana

Hi All!

My handsome Sam entered his doggy day care's Halloween costume contest.  Please support him (and me) by going to the site and pressing like or reacting to the picture in any way. Voting ends October 31st.

Thanks in advance!!

Go to the following link:  Sam the Breast Cancer Awareness Dog

Thanks everyone!  Will update y'all on Chemo Day 3 this weekend! Meanwhile, vote, vote, vote!!  Share with your friends.

Release Your Inner Diva!

My son-in-law, Nash, modeling two of my wigs. I think he pulls them off as well as or better than I do! Everyone needs to release their inner diva!!

My Son In Law, Nash - Blonde Diva

The Weekend (Not the Singer)

I handled chemo just fine on Friday. Saturday, we did a little of this and that. Cooking, shopping, potting plants, band watching.

Since we needed to get a few ingredients to finish up the chicken soups, we head to the store. Mike decided he needed some pots to replant his Aloe Vera plants, plus we wanted to look for a Halloween costume for Sam. This little jaunt to the store turned out to be a bigger deal than planned. Never mind. Mike got his new pots and I got some fall flowers for my front porch from my sister.

Cathy made two great soups/stews. A green chili chicken soup and a roasted corn chowder stew. OMG! Both are to die for! The first is nice and spicy, very flavorful. The second is great as well with a sweeter taste. Regardless, we left some back for the fridge and froze the rest. Mike and I easily have enough in the fridge to feed us the rest of the week, plus frozen pulled pork and soups. 

After dinner, Cathy and I head out to meet my daughter Nicole at the area UIL band competition. If you are a band parent, you know what I'm talking about. If not, you are missing a treat. The performances are based on a them and tell a story through music, the flag team, and some theatrics from the band members as well. There are some amazing performances. Check it out if you ever have the chance. These high school bands start practicing in August, adding more and more to their program leading up to UIL competition. If they get past area, then they head to regional, and, if they are part of the lucky few, they get to compete in State competition. It's a big deal.

We watched the end of the 6A group, then we saw the band we came to see. Remember the handsome freshman band member? Yeah, that group. His school scored a "1", qualifying them for regional competition in Pflugerville next Saturday. Guess where this granny is gonna be? We watched a few more bands before heading back to give my grandson a hug, tell him congrats, and head home. It was fun!

Sunday was a "stay at home" day. Do the boring, yet necessary stuff - laundry, dishes. There is a treat in there, though. Cathy decided to make a chocolate fudge pecan pie. Since I had a large bag of chocolate chips that expire at the end of the month. I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies (probably one of my better batches, if I say so myself), leaving the rest for the pecan pie. I am in chocolate heaven on Sunday!

Cathy and I pull out the scrabble board. We used to play on Friday nights, years ago when she lived with me for a bit in Houston. We picked up where we left off. I ate her lunch! It was very satisfying.

Sam, our 90 pound chocolate lab, is entering the Action Pack Dog Halloween contest. He will be dressed as Nana's breast cancer support dog. We are still looking for a solid pink bandana. We had to test drive Sam's Halloween costume. That's code for "can we put this on him without him wanting to bite us". Sam isn't a biter, but wait til you see the costume; even you may agree he has reason to get a little testy. Doesn't he look cute? Can you tell we are bribing him with a cookie (I always make one little chocolate free cookie for him when making cookies).

I know doggie parents vote, but I don't know if it is open to the public. If it is, you can bet I will be posting the voting link here so y'all can help Sam take the prize!

We're International!

I have shared my blog with my family, friends, co-workers, and my BC ladies from Breast Cancer.org.  Everyone knows I am an open book and I encourage everyone to share with anyone that may benefit or find it interesting. To my surprise, the blog is being read in nine countries. NINE!
Update 12/07/19. That number has increased to 19; the site only shows the ten with the highest traffic. Update 1/20/20. My blog has been read in 27 countries to date. Update 01/31/20 - we are now at 30! Update 03/10/20 - we are now at 35! Update 3/27/20 - we are now at 36!
The new list includes:

1. United States
2. Canada
3. Japan
4. Australia
5. United Kingdom
6. Germany
7. Estonia
8. Ireland
9. New Zealand
10. Ukraine
11. Russia
12. Argentina
13. France
14. Italy
15. South Africa
16. Pakistan 
17. Romania
18. Nigeria
19. Bangladesh
20. Singapore 
21. Switzerland
22. Poland
23. Egypt
24. Netherlands
25. India
26. Finland
27. Indonesia
28. Philippines 
29. United Arab Emirates
30. Denmar
31. Hong Kong
32. Czechia
33. Brazil
34. South Korea
35. Belgium
36. Slovenia

I hope anyone reading this blog is learning something, getting inspired to kick cancer's butt, and leaving this site with a laugh or a smile.

Thanks for tuning in!

If you want to learn more about breast cancer or hook up with men and women going through the same battle, please head to Breast Cancer.org. There are several forums available, lots of videos from doctors and scientists. Very informative site. Here is the link:

Breast Cancer Resource Site

Freshman Band Member of the Week

Look what handsome young man was named Freshman Band Member of the Week! He was very surprised and excited. Those selected get to go with the drum majors to visit the other team band after half time. Truly an honor. Very proud of my oldest grandson!! We are going to watch his band compete in the marching competition tonight. Can't wait to congratulate him in person!

Band Member of the Week

Chemo #2

Well, I survived my first round of chemo. On to round two.

After a fabulous breakfast, we head to Texas Oncology for round two. I was sent directly to the infusion rooms. While checking in at the infusion desk, I saw the nurse from last week. I told her she dodged the bullet today cuz I was assigned to the back room. She did the sign of the cross and said a prayer. Then she smiled. It was a fun exchange.

As we were heading to the back room, I noticed a place where people donate new and used bandanas, wigs, beanies, etc. I was looking to see if they had a bandana with the breast cancer ribbons on it; Mike and I are dressing up our chocolate lab, Sam, as Nana's Breast Cancer Support Dog for the doggy day care Halloween contest. We have to get his costume ready to go this weekend. I will post pics after we dress him up.

Back to the infusion room, I was introduced to my nurse for the day Amber. Turns out she is a foodie as well; off they go into a foodie conversation. I have no clue what Cathy and Amber are talking about most of the time.

First up, draw blood from the port to make sure various levels are handling the chemo well. Then off to see the PA, Hannah for results. Levels are doing very well. I asked when we should expect levels to get lower and possibly impact my ability to be in crowds. Hannah says typically around the four or five week mark. I need to take advantage of feeling mostly normal! We discussed any side effects; so far for me they are minimal: dry lips, dry mouth, taste buds are changing. Hannah agreed I need to reach the one gallon of water mark every day as much as possible.

I also asked about tumor shrinking. I noticed the place on my pecs are much softer and pliable than a week ago; also the lump in my neck (it's muscle; my tumor is hiding under it) is much lower. Am I imaging this? NO! Hannah told me when the chemo is working, it is not uncommon to notice that the edges of the tumor (if you can feel them at all) are mushy; the fact that the area I could feel was all mushy is great! Also, she agree that the lump on my neck is noticeably smaller. Great to have confirmation! Let's see if the neck lump goes down even more by next Friday. Fingers crossed!

After visiting with Hannah, back to infusion. Amber waits on the orders, then heads back with the anti-nausea, Benadryl, and steroids. And we're off. She injects the first two meds throught the port, which is still sore by the way. Last week, these meds were administered through the port via an IV drip; they take it easy on you the first week. The steroids are still administer with an IV drip. This takes about 15 minutes. Before the steroids are done, I can feel the Benadryl kick in. I can barely keep my eyes open. Can't fight the Benadryl much longer. I woke up when she brought in the Taxol.

Last week the Taxol took an hour and a half. This time, only an hour. Again, start slow the first week to make sure you don't have any adverse reaction to the Taxol. No holding back this week. This takes an hours. We were done by 1 PM - 2.5 hours later. Yes!! Truth be told, of that 2.5 hours, I would say at least one hour was wasted just waiting: waiting on the nurse to draw the blood, waiting on lab results, waiting on meeting with Hannah, then waiting for the nurse to get the orders from the pharmacy. I am curious to see how early we can get out next week cuz I don't need to see the doctor or Hannah next week. We were told to expect 4 hours every time. Nice we haven't hit that mark yet!

Update on the ice. I wore double socks this time. I could find cotton gloves so I brought an extra pair of cotton socks. Worked great! I can go 40 minutes before taking a five minute break. This ice also helps prevent or minimize neuropathy (losing feeling or tingling in hands and feet).

Help Arrives!

My sister Cathy is in town. Knowing my lack of culinary skills or knowledge of what I should be eating versus what I do eat, her focus is to cook some amazing, healthy meals that will last Mike and I for the week. Then she will come back and do it again next week! How did I get so lucky? Did I mention my sister is a gourmet cook?
,
Before we head to chemo, Cathy and I hit the store to purchase all the healthy stuff we need. I drove the cart … that's how useful I am in the store, other than pointing out where stuff should be. I tried to hit the cookie aisle; big sister was having none of that! Bye cookies (see why I need my sister here, saving me from myself)!

We fill the cart up with fresh fruit, veggies, salmon, pork, and whole chickens, all the ingredients needed for her planned menu. I was surprised that the cost was less than what Mike and I typically spend every week. Those of you that eat healthy are probably saying "Duh"!

After we get home and put up groceries, we have time for some breakfast. Once again,
Cathy is taking charge. She fixes frittata. I had no idea what frittata is. For those in a similar culinary fog, a frittata is an egg dish which can include everything but the kitchen sink. Our frittata had egg, spinach, bacon, cheese, and cherry tomatoes. OMG! So good! I watched her make it so hopefully this is something I can do on my own. She paired it with yogurt and berries. A great start to chemo day!

After chemo (will do a separate post about that), Cathy takes charge of the kitchen while I nap. When I woke up three hours later, I was greeted with a blackberry pie, quiche, pulled pork, cooked chickens and chicken stock for soup and who knows what else, and Granny's green beans. Note: Granny's green beans are the BEST and not everyone can pull them off like Granny; even though we all know the ingredients, somehow most of us just can't get it right. Well, I can't get it right.

There was also a mango salsa in the fridge to be paired with grilled salmon we are having Saturday night. I can't wait! Here are the pics of what I saw after nap (pics don't do it justice):

Quiche

Blackberry Pie

Chickens

Granny's Green Beans

Pulled pork

Hair? Where?

Buzzed!

The Wig

Back to the Office

Whew! This was a long time coming. I went into the office Tuesday for the first time in probably two weeks. It was so nice to see everyone! I was greeted with many hugs and well wishes from my friends and co-workers. Many made a point to stop by and check on me throughout the day. So blessed to be surrounded by such caring people. I also have some "mama" bears around, making sure I get in my exercise, drink my water, and eat lunch (I forgot today until I was reminded to eat; she even picked out a healthy lunch!). Love my "mama" and "papa" bears looking out for me. How can I not kick this thing to the curb with so many having my back and watching over me?

I'll admit I was a bit apprehensive being in the office for this first time in days. I was a bit fearful that being at work would wear me out. It didn't. I got this. Back to business as usual! Yay!

After work, I headed straight to the best hair dresser in Austin, Amy Salas (hit me up for her number if you need a great stylist). A little about my history with Amy. We go back at least 5 years when I was looking for a stylist near the office. We hit it off immediately, she embraced my adventurous spirit and the rest is history. We've gone from short and pink and/or purple, to longer with white streaks, back to short and lilac. Seriously, I have NEVER had a stylist that can take me through the transition stages of short to long without me giving up and whacking it all off again …. until Amy. She is truly gifted and is able to make my hair stylish while growing it out, and then genius again when I decide to go back to bold and short. As great as Amy is at her craft, she is an even better person. We have developed a relationship that I will cherish always. When I texted her, told her about my diagnosis, and asked if she would buzz it for me before it started falling out, she didn't hesitate. Not only did she buzz my hair pretty darn short, she even made it look good (I told you she is a genius). Then we played with my wig. Amy had to show me how to put it on. I'm such a goober sometimes. We had a great time! Thank you, Amy!!

Wednesday rolls in. I head to the office donning my new wig. I must say, I was looking stylist today. Pictures to follow. What is not evident in the picture is the peek-a-boo multi-color streaks in the back. So me! I had lots of compliments on my hair!

I am changing my telecommute schedule around during chemo. I have heard two different schools of thought. One is that I will be very tired the day after chemo. The other is that I will be very tired two to three days post chemo. With that in mind, I've asked to telecommute on Mondays so I can sleep in a bit more, take a nap at lunch if needed, and not worry about a two hour commute. I would hate to be on the road if I am truly dragging from chemo. Then in the office Tuesday and Wednesday, telecommute on Thursday (or into the office if needed) then off Friday for chemo. We'll see how this works and adjust if necessary.

I almost forgot!  Good news on the MRI front. No cancer in the bones and no neck or spine obstruction from that pesky Voldemort!  Yay!!

My oldest sister will be in town tomorrow night through Monday to make sure I eat healthy. She is a gourmet cook and has a feast in store for me and hubby during her visit. She will be back the following week to take me to chemo and make sure I am still eating healthy. Can't wait!

PET Results

I've been getting so many questions about the PET results.  The whole thing is a 3-page report but they summarize it at the end.  Here's the skinny:

• Intense hypermetabolism in the left pectoralis intramuscular lesion highly suspicious for recurrent malignant disease
• Extensive lymph node metastases in the left neck and chest
• Bilateral small pleural effusions/thickening, left greater than right

Translation: the cancer is in my left pectoral muscle and in several lymph nodes in my left neck and chest. What does this mean treatment wise? Nothing. We stay the course. The chemo should kill those suckers (I hate the word "kill" but in this case, I can't think of a better word).

Obviously, the doctors aren't giving any guarantees. They aren't even waging a guess on the overall prognosis. I'm okay with that. I choose to believe, correctly or not, that I have a fighting chance.

I am still waiting on the final pathology of the biopsied tumor. My main concern is its sensitivity to hormones and if the tumor grade has changed from 2 to 3, with 3 being aggressive. That could dictate treatment options in the future.  Meanwhile ….

Onward through the fog!!

MRI Day!

The past few weeks have been filled with so many tests and procedures, it makes my head swim.  Two neck and throat ultrasounds, 2 CT scans, 1 fine needle biopsy, 1 core biopsy, 1 port placement, 1 PET scan, 1 chemo treatment, and now …. MRI! 

The doctor wants to know if sneaky Voldemort (my biggest tumor and the biggest pain in my neck - literally) is impacting my neck and spine in any way. He has done such a good job of winding himself around all kinds of things in that region, it wouldn't surprise me, especially since I have this nagging pain in the back of my neck that I typically equate to allergy headaches. Except I am not having any allergy issues right now. Sigh!

The nurses did a preemptive strike and ordered drugs to help combat my claustrophobia. Does this mean I will be in a tube this time? I'm told the meds will make it so I won't care. I just took my 11:45 pill; I believe this will do the trick. On my way to "not caring". Surprised it kicked in so fast. Hope hubby doesn't have to scrape me off the floor and pour me into the car.

Leaving this here so you can experience my Vicodin frame of mind.

Getty dizzy and cant't typel will edit and update when I'm donel'

We arrive a little early, I sign a bunch of forms, politely tell them I am not paying them a dime, then wait my turn. I was called in so fast it made me jump. Believe it or not, the initial wackiness has worn off but I still remain calm. Hmmm - who da thought?

Since they had to inject the dye, once again I get "stuck" and they put in an IV. My vein is still bruised from the last assault. Turns out, this was a messy team putting in AND taking out the IV. They had to clean me up afterward. That is a new experience for me, one I don't care to repeat. 

The staff were super nice. I was given a ball thing that I could squeeze in case I started to freak out. I am happy to say, this girl DID NOT SQUEEZE!! Which is a bit surprising considering I was in there for a long time. They actually did two MRIs: one without dye, one with dye. I didn't get out of the room until 2:00 PM! I was expecting 30 minutes, maybe 40. But an hour +? Hubby was getting ready to send in a search party.

Results in 24-hours. Tomorrow is a big day. I go into the office for the first time in a while. I think a mid-day nap is in order.  Later!

I Am a Survivor and a Warrior

From Tammi Todd

From Nicole Borgardts

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - Steven Wright

Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day

Today is Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day!

I just happen to see this on social media today. I didn't even know there is a special site for MBC patients. Yay! I think I will be spending more time on this site.

Here is the link if you are interested:

Metastatic Breast Cancer Network

I also encourage you to view the "What is Metastatic Breast Cancer?" tab. Here is the link specifically to this information:

What is Metastatic Breast Cancer

Please honor those you love that have battled or are battling this disease by educating yourself on metastatic breast cancer. 

There is a quick list of approximately 31 facts pertaining to MBC under the awareness tab. I encourage everyone to take a peak. 

Thirty percent of those diagnosed with early stage breast cancer will metastasize to MBC. Look at me - diagnosed with Stage 1B, 7% chance for a recurrence. Excellent prognosis for a long, breast cancer free life. Initial treatment consisted of surgery and a pill every day for up to 10 years. Six years later to the month of my initial diagnosis, and I find out I have MBC. What a kick in the teeth. I asked my doctor what I did wrong. His response? "Nothing. Someone has to be part of the 7% and you're it." How special!

So, here we are. Am I giving up? Absolutely not! I'm am going to do everything I can to live my best life everyday. That doesn't mean I won't have a down day every now and then or I won't succumb to a pity party - I am human after all.

Anyway, please honor me and those you love by learning about this horrible disease. 

Much love and appreciation in advance.

Breast Cancer Vaccine Trials Successful

The Mayo Clinic is working on a Breast Cancer vaccine, starting with triple negative and then moving to IDC (invasive ductal carcinoma). Sadly, that won't help me because I am ILC, the second most common breast cancer, but still only 10% of cases are ILC (invasive lobular carcinoma). Too bad; I'd be on my way. Road Trip!!

If you are interested, here is the link:


https://www.forbes.com/sites/robinseatonjefferson/2019/10/11/mayo-breast-cancer-vaccine-could-be-available-in-less-than-a-decade/#5fdd4fe627c7

Wish the trials included ILC. Maybe that should be my mission why on this journey; fighting for more research on ILC. We ILC ladies are people too!

Chemo Day Pictures

Hubby and I during chemo

At the game with my handsome grandson

1st Chemo Day!

If you are keeping up, you know I had a little meltdown yesterday while waiting to go to my first chemo appointment. My family started reaching out early with encouraging messages, wishing me  luck, telling me "You got this". To be honest, what really had me bawling was when my son in Oregon sent me a text wishing me luck … with a picture of his shaved head. I lost it. It took me a minute holding on the Hubby before I gained my composure.

 Mike and I arrive at the appointed time. First stop, of course, is to the finance office. Stopping for a rant: I know they are only doing their job, but don't cancer patients have enough on their plate without having to deal with hospitals, imaging centers, and doctors with their hand out saying "Show Me the Money" every time you show up for an appointment? Fortunately, I know my rights. With all the testing and biopsies the past three weeks, I have reached my out of pocket max on services! I politely told the finance people that I wasn't paying them a dime right now (after January, a different story) as I have reached my out of pocket limit. She agreed that if I paid when I didn't have to, it will take months, without interest, to get it back. Not interested in that little game. Also, remember that in assessing when your reach out of pocket max is based on first in first out, so the early bird gets your money. Those that dilly dally when filing the claim should not get money from you. If you are expecting several bills, you CAN push back and tell them to bill your insurance first and you will be happy to pay whatever you owe after that. That little speech has never failed me and saved me thousands. So, those of you dealing with a major health event, know your rights. End of rant.

Sorry for the interruption. After the visit with finance we went back to the waiting room to be called into the infusion room. It wasn't long before they called my name. And it starts - EEK! They assign me a recliner, let Mike know which chair is his, and off we go.

Of course the first thing they do is take your vitals. Surprisingly, my blood pressure was better than I expected, 128/79; it was 138/96 when we came in for chemo training (that makes sense - not). After a bit, my chemo nurse comes over to get me started. Typically, they take blood (out of my new port - save the veins!) and wait on blood count results before continuing, but they decided to use my blood work from earlier in the week. That probably saved us 20 to 30 minutes. Then the nurse inserted the IV into my new port. I'm not gonna lie, with that area still swollen and sore, I was expecting some major pain. The nurse told me to relax. Then she said, "you're not breathing; breathe!". When she was sure I was breathing, she told me to take a deep breath and BAM, in goes the IV. It didn't hurt a bit. I felt pressure but no pain. Whew. Show time!

They start you off with three different drip bags: anti-nausea, Benadryl, and then steroids. With every bag, I kept asking, what's in that bag, when are you adding the Benadryl, is that the steroids, where's the Taxol. The nurse grinned, Hubby laughed. The nurse told me to lay back and relax, quit fighting the Benadryl (that's why you see so many patients sleeping; it isn't cuz they are super sick, it's cuz they are letting the Benadryl take them away). I was never able to master that. Hubby told me I was trying to Project Manage my chemo. I would try to argue the point, but I'm sure he was right. We joked about it with the nurse the rest of the session. They even joked about who would draw the short straw next week.

The big surprise not covered in chemo training is that they were going to put my hands and feet into ice for the whole 1.5 hours of Taxol drip. Oh Hell No! Oh Hell Yes … this is not optional and is for my own good. One of the common side effects is your nails can turn black and potentially fall off. Gross! By putting your hands and feet in ice, it stops the Taxol from reaching your nails and minimizes the risk of nail damage. Fine - freeze my hands and feet. I had socks on so I tolerated that pretty well. But my hands? They were hurting within minutes, and I mean almost in tears hurting. I was allowed to take them out about 5 minutes at a time. I was told that next time I could wear cotton gloves. Would have been good to know ahead of time - you know, setting correct expectations. I am definitely purchasing cotton gloves before my next appointment.

Taxol drip done, we get unplugged, load up and off we go. We are out of there a little after 2; I was expecting 3 to 4. Good thing. After lunch, I had to nap - I finally succombed to the Benadryl. I slept until 5:30, then get up, change and head to my grandson's football game. BTW - I get to the game and I was met with a second shaved head - a present from my son-in-law. My family - they warm my heart every day.

I survived my first day of Chemo!

Keeping It Real

When I started this blog, I vowed to myself to be transparent and stay true to who I am. Who knows if what I am going through or have gone through will help someone else.

In keeping with that promise, I must admit that today is scary. I am scared! I never wanted to experience dangerous chemicals invading my body. I know this is a necessary evil in beating Voldemort and ensuring me a longer life. Still, my stress level is off the charts and gets worse as the minutes tick by before we leave for chemo.

Breathe! In, out, in, out! I have got to calm the f*#@ down! Deep breaths …. in, out, in, out, in, out.

I am already feeling calmer. Who knew deep breathing can work so fast. Note to self: use this often!

We can do this! I can do this! Who am I to wimp out when millions of women ... and men … have gone through this before me.

Suck it up, Buttercup! Honor those that have been through this journey and have come out the other side just fine.

Okay, better now. Thanks for listening.

Time to kick butt!!

Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.   - Joshua 1:9

Everything You Wanted to Know About Taxol

Mike and I went to Chemo Training yesterday afternoon. I was expecting a room full of people. No, it was a one-on-one with the PA.

• The same PA who diagnosed me with Lymphedema in July and sent me on my way
• Deep breath - it did not change the diagnosis or the treatment; just delayed it a bit
• Let it go

Sorry for the brief pity party. Back to the topic at hand. Where were we? Oh, yeah … Taxol.

Taxol prevents cancer cells from dividing and growing, and can cause the cancer cells to shrink and die. This is what we are hoping Taxol will do to Voldemort (my tumor in my neck). Taxol comes with a whole slew of possible side effects:

• Risk of infection
• Wash hands frequently
• Use hand sanitizer frequently
• Stay away from people with colds or other illnesses
• Neuropathy
• Numbness or tingling feeling in the hands or feet
• Loss of balance
• Trouble hearing (this one will come in handy .. hehe)
• Hair loss (I've got this one covered)
• Nausea 
• They give you drugs through the port to help prevent this
• Anemia
• Risk of bleeding
• Appetite Loss
• Mainly due to sores in the mouth
• Metallic or medicinal taste
• Change in taste buds, causing dislike for certain food
• Nail changes
• Fluid retention
• Such a great look for me ... NOT
• Mouth sores and pain (see appetite loss)
• Rash
• Radiation Recall
• Redness, tenderness, or swelling in areas that have been treated with radiation in the past
• May cause wet sores and peeling skin
• Stay out of the sun; if in the sun, use very strong sunscreen and wear a hat ALWAYS!
• Got this one covered

Doesn't this look like fun? It gets better! They pump you full of steroids through the port as well. This will cause you to be hungry ALL THE TIME! I was hoping that I could finally shed the Christmas weight from last year when the opposite is more likely. More weight gain. NOOOOOO! I will need to be diligent in watching the foods I eat to keep from gaining too much weight. 

My oldest sister, Cathy, called last night and told me she is heading my way. I mention this because my sister is an amazing cook. Hello! I need to take advantage of having a gourmet cook in the house. I told her I needed to make sure that whatever I eat is low cal but healthy. Her response? I can do that!! Yes! Looking forward to whatever she comes up with and learning how to make it when she is gone. Maybe I can ward off this weight gain after all!

Time to get my chemo bag ready. I've been putting it off, as if it will delay the chemo. I know it won't but a girl can pretend for a little while, right? 

I probably won't provide an update about the chemo session until tonight or Saturday. We do chemo until about 3 or 4, then a short nap, then off to watch my grandson play in the high school band. This is my standard Friday night during high school football season and it is important to me to stick with old norms as much as possible.

Thursday Inspiration

My Daughter Sent Me This ... It's Fitting

Sometimes you just need to talk about something—not to get sympathy or help, but just to kill its power by allowing the truth of things to hit the air.

Karen Salmansohn

General Info about PET Scans

What Is a PET Scan?

A positron emission tomography (PET) scan is an imaging test that allows your doctor to check for diseases in your body.

The scan uses a special dye containing radioactive tracers. These tracers are either swallowed, inhaled, or injected into a vein in your arm depending on what part of the body is being examined. Certain organs and tissues then absorb the tracer.

When detected by a PET scanner, the tracers help your doctor to see how well your organs and tissues are working.

The tracer will collect in areas of higher chemical activity, which is helpful because certain tissues of the body, and certain diseases, have a higher level of chemical activity. These areas of disease will show up as bright spots on the PET scan.

Cancer cells have a higher metabolic rate than noncancerous cells. Because of this high level of chemical activity, cancer cells show up as bright spots on PET scans. For this reason, PET scans are useful both for detecting cancer and for:

       seeing if the cancer has spread

       seeing if a cancer treatment is working

       checking for a cancer recurrence

However, these scans should be read carefully by your doctor, as it’s possible for noncancerous conditions to look like cancer on a scan. It’s also common for solid tumors to fail to appear on PET scans.

How is a PET scan performed?

Before the scan, you’ll get tracers through a vein in your arm, through a solution you drink, or in a gas you inhale. Your body needs time to absorb the tracers, so you’ll wait about an hour before the scan begins.
How long it takes for your body to fully absorb the tracer will depend on the area of the body being scanned.

While you wait, you’ll want to limit any movement, relax, and try to stay warm. If you’re undergoing a brain scan, you’ll want to avoid television, music, and reading.

Next, you’ll undergo the scan, which can last anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes. This involves lying on a narrow table attached to a PET machine, which looks like a giant letter “O.” The table glides slowly into the machine so that the scan can be conducted.

You’ll need to lie still during the scan. The technician will let you know when you need to remain still. You may be asked to hold your breath for several seconds. You’ll hear buzzing and clicking noises during the test.

When all the necessary images have been recorded, you’ll slide out of the machine. The test is then complete.

My Date This Morning

PET SCAN

PET SCAN DAY!!

It's finally here! The day we've all been waiting for …. PET SCAN DAY! Luckily, what I was told to expect and the reality couldn't be more different.

Since Dr. Kocs wanted this done as soon as possible, the scan was scheduled in mid-Austin. We had to leave by 6 to get to midtown for the scan. We get there about 6:40. That early arrival paid off.

For any of you getting one of these, it just doesn't get any easier. I think this is even easier, or at least more comfortable, than a CT scan.

• Make sure you dress in clothes that have no metal; this means you won't have to get into some goofy gown or hospital pants to do the scan; no changing clothes at all.
• They put in an IV and take a little blood.
• Can I stop here for a sec. What is it with the blood? By the time Friday gets here, I will have blood drawn 4 out of 5 days. Don't they share? Bunch of Vampires!!
• They put you in a little room with a recliner and … wait for it ….HOT BLANKETS; is this heaven or what?
• In comes the PET scan person with a huge syringe attached to a big round metal thing; its the radioactive dye they inject into my veins via the IV.
• The best part? The IV comes out after that! What?! A nice surprise! 
• Hope I don't glow too much;
• You may be thinking (or not) the glow is from my inner sparkle; it isn't.
• The glow is actually those little sneaky cancer cells trying to hide
• Sit in the chair for an hour, with my warm blankets, and vacillate between playing on my phone and napping.
• Then it's my turn! New warm blankets!
• The hardest thing is being still; it isn't hard being still until you're told you HAVE to be still. 
• My mantra for the morning was "be still, don't move", "be still, don't move" ....
• 20 minutes later I'm done
• Coffee time!

The 2 - 4 hour time line I was told to expect did not play out, nor was the test in a tube! It was in the donut thing. Even this die-hard claustrophobic can handle the donut thing! Whew! I had my knock-out pills prescribed for my upcoming MRI with me just in case.

If these results follow my recent experiences, I should know something late this afternoon. It is possible it will go into tomorrow. Hoping I hear something today. Honestly, I don't think the results will change the treatment plan. We'll see.

The following posts include a picture of the PET machine and some general information about PET scans in general.

A Thought to End the Day

Wednesday - Chemo Prep Day

We were hoping PET scan would happen today. But, they couldn't get it scheduled until Thursday at 7 (UGH!!). Thank goodness! I need the time to get ready for chemo, talk to insurance, and get other things in order.

Lucky for me, my BC friend Jen is a wealth of information and one of the most caring, giving, inspirational people I know. She shared her "Cancer To Do List", which includes a lot of tips for surviving chemo. For me, this means shopping, either online or in the stores.

• First, my hair will fall out in two weeks from Friday … guaranteed. So I need to be ready for that. I've heard that it actually hurts when the hair falls out. That's a "No" for me. Time to be proactive.
• I contact my fabulous hair dresser to let her know that my cancer has come back (she cussed … I cussed … we both cussed) and that the great cut she gave me in September needs to go. I have an appointment Tuesday after work to get it buzzed. I will be a bald woman come Tuesday night.
• I order the soft caps Jen recommended (she says my head will be tender)
• I order some HooRags for another option. Check out Hoorags.com
• Try on wigs - I bought four
• Note to Charisse - I saw the cutest Dred locks but I could not pull off that look; so disappointed
• Get supplements
• I already have D, Calcium, Zinc, and Magnesium
• Picked up B-12 and Tumeric Curcumin (I'm told it helps the chemo be more effective; I need most effective!)
• Get lotions for hands and feet
• I ordered from the company Jen recommended, Savannah Bee
• Get heavy duty sunscreen, including lipbalm with sunscreen - check
• Get a 1/2 gallon container for water and the powdered drink mixes to keep out the metalic taste - got it
• Get Biotine mouthwash cuz Chemo does a job on the inside of your mouth - it took me two stores but I found it!
• We have popsicles and something to transport them in
• I forgot the memory foam neck pillow!! Back to the store

I think I'm ready! I am sure our Chemo class tomorrow afternoon will add more to the list. 

LET'S KILL THIS SUCKER!!

Port Placement

Port What, Why, and Where

 Implanted Port


An implanted venous access port, also called a subcutaneous access port, mediport or power port, is a special type of intravenous (IV) device that is implanted (inserted) under your skin. A common area a port may be put in is the upper chest. Ports can also be placed in an arm or the abdomen. Infusion ports come in different shapes and sizes. The type of port and the way it is used depend on your needs. Implanted ports may be used for:

•  Chemotherapy treatment
• Taking blood samples 
•            Blood transfusions
• Giving IV fluids and IV medicines

How is a port put in?  


A port can be put in by a doctor in the operating room or in the radiology department. the picture is not porting over so I will add as a separate page.





You may have some bruising, swelling and tenderness where the port was put in. These symptoms should go away after 1 to 2 days.

A Port In The Storm...

Yesterday was Port day! This signals the beginning of the Chemo assault on my body. Whee!! Once again, I go to the wrong entrance of the hospital (St. David's Round Rock). I'm becoming good friends with the gal in outpatient surgery who, for the second time in a row, had to take me to the correct place for check-in. One of these days, I'll get it right. Meanwhile, hubby and I will welcome the extra steps to get where we should have gone in the first place.

They put me out for this one, but I was awake for all the operating room prep stuff. Pretty interesting place. Computer monitors everywhere. I thought this was going to be me, my doctor, and the nurse. Nope. We had a party going on! There was me, my nurse with the happy juice, some girl that did a quick ultrasound scan to have a pic of where the doc needed to go. She disappeared into another room and would then talk to us via intercom. Asked about the instruments we had on hand.There was another guy who never said a word. Couldn't figure out his role in all this. I never saw him do anything except walk around with a stern look on his face, and then he disappeared into the "intercom" room. Still no doctor.

There was also guy that seemed to be in charge of the room, Jason. I say that cuz he picked the music and you have to be in charge to pick the music. It was the Pandora Jim Croce channel. Never heard any Jim Croce while I was in there. I heard Eagles, Steve Miller, Fleetwood Mac, and a few others. Jason and I played name that band until the happy juice kicked in. I beat him every time. Youngsters don't stand a chance against an old woman and the classics of the 60s and 70s. Jason also built a "tent" over my head before the procedure started. Not sure why since I was going to be off in the clouds somewhere. Oh well.

Procedure done, I get my first copy of coffee for the day, and we head home so I can go back to sleep. Heaven!!  And then I wake up.... I felt like I had been hit by a linebacker on my right side. I'm not gonna lie …. it hurt! Still hurts today, just not as bad. They say it takes a couple of days before the pain subsides. Just hope it isn't hurting when they use it for the first time on Friday.

I am adding a page about the port for those that are curious. 

Quote of the Day

Buckle Up! It's Gonna Be a Crazy Ride!

Dr. Kocs told me "You are mine" this week. Boy, he wasn't kidding. After meeting with Dr. Kocs and getting the labs done, Mike and I met with the scheduler for over an hour. Luckily, Texas Oncology has these cool calendars for patients to use to keep up with all their appointments; my new sidekick!

Here is what we have in store this week:

•  Port installation - Tuesday 8 AM  - 1 PM 
• Can't wait! Who doesn't want this thing in their chest that medical people can just "hook up" to? Think of all the time saved! And the veins! Save the veins!
• I'll be in "LaLa Land" for this during the procedure, the rest of the day, and into Wednesday; that must be some potent stuff!
• I am told there will be some activity restriction; I can't imagine what
• I promise NOT to flash people and say "want to see my port?"
• PET scan - Wednesday, time TBD
• Putting me out for this too cuz I'm claustrophobic
• I'm told it takes 2-4 hours .... in a tube
•  Chemo Training
• Mike and I learn the ins and outs of Chemo
• How long, what to bring
• Side effects
• Chemo #1 - Friday @ 10; will take 4.5 - 5 hours each time
• Rinse and repeat every Friday for min 8 weeks
• I will lose my hair (what little I have) in about 2 weeks
• I was thinking crazy wigs, but they get expensive
• Moving on to "Hoorags" (https://www.hoorag.com)
• Video looks cool; I will have uses for them even after chemo
• MRI - Monday or Tuesday
•  Checking to see if the monster is impacting my neck and/or spine

We need a "Name the Monster" contest for my very nasty tumor. I am open to suggestions.

The Nuts and Bolts

Mike and I met with Dr. Kocs today to go over the diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, and general questions. Here are the basics:

• I have Metastatic Breast Cancer; Stage 4
• It is not curable but it is manageable
• 4.5 centimeter tumor contained in a lymph node in my neck 
• No surgery because of its location and structures involved
•  We need to shrink, then kill it as soon as possible, again due to structures involved
•  Full pathology report is not in yet, but he suspects the tumor makeup will be the same when I was first diagnosed - grade 2, E/P+, HER2- 
• This is good; it means after chemo, new hormone treatment is possible
•  Prognosis is a crap shoot; could be 2 months, could be 20 years
• We're shooting for the 20 years :)
•  Treatment:
•  Eight weeks of chemo (Taxol) to start
• Targeted therapy (radiation) after chemo is possible to make sure we kill all the nasty cancer cells in the neck; don't want to revisit this area - ever!
• There are a whole slew of treatment options available to us, including immunotherapy, once we shrink and kill the monster in my neck
• Diet or lifestyle changes?
• No science to back it up 
• Would recommend a dietician if I needed to lose weight that could be inhibiting treatment
• Supplements?
• CBD Oil - legal; okay to use but not as a substitute. However, use caution in that it could impact how the chemo works; most patients use if for anxiety
•  Frankincense - again, no science behind it.
•  The party starts ... NOW!! Translation - its getting real very quickly

Not great news, not catastrophic news. It's just news. Surprisingly, we are okay; we are at peace. I am hanging my hat on "My faith is stronger than my fear". Let go and let God. 

Bring it!!